Page 37 of How to Start a Scandal

‘Yet you didn’t wear it.’

Violet looked down at the ground, stinging with fresh hurt. ‘My mother had the gown made in a smaller size. I know I’m not a slender woman and it has always been to my mother’s chagrin. She had hoped the desire to wear the gown would be great enough to make me lose the extra bit of weight I had gained the prior year. There was a second gown made, in case I failed. The hideous one.’

He stared at her blankly. ‘Surely you jest.’

‘I couldn’t do it.’ Violet blinked, but it was too late. Her tears had overcome her resolve and one fell from her eye like a dropped crystal. ‘I tried so hard. I didn’t eat for nearly a week. Then the first dinner party we attended, I ate so much, I made myself ill.’ She’d been dizzy with hunger and the second something other than tea or water had hit her tongue, she’d lost all control. To this day, roasted pheasant tasted like failure. Rich with crisped skin, succulent meat that fell from the bone and a gown she would never be able to wear.

It had been disgusting how much she’d eaten and she’d paid the price for it after. Not only with the retching protest of her offended stomach, but also the scorn of her mother.

‘I failed,’ Violet whispered.

‘And the other gown was your punishment?’ he surmised.

Violet nodded miserably, alight with the blaze of her humiliation.

‘Good God,’ Lord Dalton said. ‘That’s...’

She winced, expecting his agreement at how pathetic she was and that even the promise of wearing that lovely gown hadn’t been enough of an enticement to achieve her goal of slimming down.

After all, he’d always been well aware of her size. Certainly, he’d called attention to it on several instances when they were children, like telling her that she could climb trees because she was solid, or that she could survive any illness because she was so healthy.

She held her breath and waited for the words that would irrevocably cut her to the deepest part of her core.

Chapter Eleven

Seth stared incredulously at Lady Violet. His mind reeled with the story she’d told him. How could any mother be so cruel?

‘That’s dastardly,’ he said finally, able to dislodge the words from his thoughts.

Violet blinked in surprise as though expecting a different response. God, he must have been truly awful for her to assume he’d agree with something so vile.

‘You thought I would agree with her?’ he asked in horror.

‘You’ve always thought me plump.’ She pressed her lips together and another tear ran down her cheek. ‘You called me things like “healthy” and “substantial” and “solid”. And I’ll never forget how you looked at me before my ball when I wore that hideous gown.’

He shook his head. ‘I meant those as good things,’ he protested.

‘Good?’ She gaped at him. ‘How could such phrases possibly be good?’

‘Because you’re—’ He broke off before he said something crass.

‘You made it clear how you felt about me the night of my debut.’ Her eyes flashed with the depth of her wounds from that fateful moment.

‘Tell me,’ he said in a tone far steadier than he felt. ‘Tell me what I told you that night, how truly awful your gown was. I want it all.’

She plucked a leaf from the elm tree and put all her attention on it as she twirled the stem between her fingers. ‘It was pale lavender and made me look as though I was in half-mourning. The waist came too low and showed how round my hips were and the top was cut to reveal my shoulders.’

The description nudged at his memory. Perhaps gowns did truly have some impact. ‘Did it have laces crisscrossing the bottom of your skirt?’

She startled. ‘Yes. You do remember, then.’

‘Only a bit.’ He shook his head, detesting himself for the thickness of his intoxication back then that clouded his memory now. ‘What did I say to you to let you know how much I hated it?’

‘You stared at it for a long time and you didn’t say anything.’ She bit her lip. ‘I hoped that meant maybe you liked it, perhaps it wasn’t as bad as I had suspected. I asked what you thought of my gown.’

A memory formed in Seth’s mind as Lady Violet spoke.

A memory of Lady Violet Lavell coming down the stairs to discover him standing in the entryway. She’d glowed with pleasure at his arrival, but his eyes had only lingered on her face for a moment before gliding down to her body.