Page 105 of Hellbent

She sighed. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

She held the paper, tapped the pencil against her full bottom lip, as if contemplating. Then she checked a box, not letting Evan see. She stuffed the note back into the little bag and tossed the kite out the window.

It nose-dived from view.

He knew which box she’d checked.

She said, “You going to bed?”

“After I meditate.”

“Meditate?”

“Jack never taught you?”

“No. We didn’t have time for that.” She wet her lips, seemingly uncomfortable. “Why do you do it? Meditate?”

He contemplated. Jack had taught him this along with so much else. How to find peace. How to embody stillness. How to punch an eskrima dagger between the fourth and fifth ribs, angling up at the heart.

It struck Evan anew how Jack had embodied so many contradictions. Gruff but gentle, insistent but patient, firm but hands-off. He’d known how to raise Evan, how to push him further than he wanted to go.

Joey was watching him expectantly, slightly nervous, a flush rouging her smooth cheeks. Her question touched on the intimate, and that put her out over her skis.

He remembered telling her that Jack was the first person who ever really saw him. If no one sees you, how can you know you’re real?

Evan tried to imagine how Jack might see Joey.

“Your Rubik’s Cube,” he said. “From the motel—the shape-shifter with all the different planes?”

She nodded.

“You told me that to bring it into alignment you solve one dimension at a time. Shape first, then color. You said you look for the wayward pieces, find the right patterns to make them fall into place. Right?”

“Right.”

“That’s what meditating is. Finding the wayward pieces of yourself, bringing them into alignment.”

“But how?”

He went to the bed, sat crossed-legged, pointed to a spot opposite him. She climbed on the bed and mirrored his pose. Hands on thighs, straight spine, shoulders relaxed.

“What now?” she asked.

“Nothing.”

“So I just breathe?”

“Yes.”

“Just sit here and breathe?”

“If you want to.”

Her eyes shone.

“Focus on your breath,” he said. “And nothing else. See where it leads you.”