Page 54 of Head Over Skis

‘Not if ending it means Rory will have to put a shirt back on,’ she says, and I roll my eyes.

Even Meghan can’t look away from Rory, his still-naked torso practically glistening as it gets covered with a dusting of snow.

‘Hey! Long-term boyfriend standing right here,’ Lucas says, waving his hand in front of her face, which she bats away before they both laugh to themselves.

I smile, watching the way they joke so easily with each other, and I can’t recall a time they’ve ever argued or bickered. Not like me and Adam, who is currently telling Rory where he can stick it.

I huff, finally at the end of my tether. I stomp down the front porch steps, getting as close as I dare before yelling at the top of my lungs. ‘For god’s sake will you both grow up, you testosterone-fuelled IDIOTS!’

They pause for long enough to look over at me, and they must see how done I am with them both as I stand there with my arms crossed, tapping my foot against the snow. I realise then that I didn’t put any shoes on before coming out here, and all at once a wave of pain shoots from my ankle up towards my knee. I wince, taking as much weight off it as I can, and try to ignore the sharp stinging that’s coming both from my injury and the freezing snow my toes are sinking into.

‘Shit, your ankle! Let me get your shoes,’ Rory says, stepping forward.

‘Let me carry you back inside,’ Adam says at the same time, but I lift both my hands up to stop them.

‘Enough!’

They freeze. I squeeze my fingers against my temples and take a deep breath to try and steady myself, but I’m too riled up.

‘I don’t need either of you helping me right now. What I need is for you to keep your hands to yourselves and listen to me for two seconds.’

Thankfully they do, and so I address them each in turn, starting with my troublemaker of an ex. ‘Adam, I honestly don’t even know where to start with you.’

‘I’m so sorry, Lotts,’ he rushes out.

So much for letting me speak for two seconds.

‘Listen, you know I didn’t mean it, I—’ He advances towards me but I push him away with two hands planted firmly on his chest.

‘No, Adam, you listen!’ He stumbles back a bit, clutching at where I pushed him, but I’m not backing down. ‘You can’t just say an awful thing about me and then think an apology will cut it.’

Whoring myself around. He actually said that to me. A person he claims he still cares about. Does he seriously think he can patch up the cut those words have made on my heart with a blurted apology?

‘And all of this…’ I continue, gesturing around us at the snow that’s now got the shape of two bodies imprinted into it, at Rory, and at the others who are watching us like we’re primetime TV. ‘It’s ridiculous, Adam!’

‘I know, but—’

‘Later,’ I cut him off. Unlike him, I don’t want to end up saying something I’m going to regret. ‘Just go. Please.’

He doesn’t like that, but at least he takes the hint this time and shrinks backwards, walking sulkily towards the house.

‘And you.’ I turn to Rory, who is still standing unashamedly shirtless in the freezing cold. I focus on his face, not wanting his body to distract me from letting him know he’s not off the hook.

‘I came on this holiday with the goal of creating as little drama for everyone as possible, and whatever that was…’ I trail off, picturing the way he landed that punch on Adam’s jaw. ‘And whatever this is…’ I go on, pointing between us, the events of today leaving me with no clear idea on how to describe what our relationship to each other is. ‘It’s a lot.’

I finish, unable to think of a more articulate way to sum up how I’m feeling. Instead, I wrap my arms around myself to ward off some of the chill. Unlike Adam, Rory waits before he speaks, checking I’ve said all I want to say.

‘I’m sorry. I may have gotten a bit carried away.’ He lifts one arm to scratch the hair at the back of his neck, causing the muscles along the side of his chest to stretch taut.

‘Very. You got very carried away,’ I correct.

Adam may have been the one to start the fight, but Rory sure as hell didn’t help. Do I find it sexy that he jumped in so quickly to defend me? Yes. But am I also annoyed with him for doing so when it’s objectively made everything worse with Adam? That too. And I need some space to be able to work through both of those feelings without him and his bare chest tempting me to pull him back inside and finish what we started.

‘There’s a lot of history here,’ I admit, an understatement to describe the complex path of mine and Adam’s relationship over the years. ‘And I need to deal with this on my own. Can you let me do that?’

He pauses as if he wants to say something, offer his help maybe, but in the end he just nods.

‘Do you have your phone, or a piece of paper and a pen?’ he asks.