Page 40 of Head Over Skis

‘It’s different,’ he says defensively, and I can’t get too annoyed because he’s not wrong.

He knows there’s something there that I’m not telling him, but I’m starting to question what the point would be in revealing what happened in London. The past is in the past, and I’ve already resolved not to go there again, so he should stop probing before I end up saying something that’ll sour his mood even further.

‘You had his jacket. You mean to tell me there isn’t a story behind that one? That the rest of the class have all had turns taking his jacket home, too?’

‘Oh piss off, Adam. You want to know why I had his jacket? First let me ask you, do you remember why I needed to go outside and get some air at the quiz?’

He stays silent and I scoff.

‘I thought so. It started to snow, and I was outside in only a thin jumper, so Rory lent me his jacket. It could’ve been any of the guys. It could’ve been you. He just happened to get there first.’

‘No, you’re lying. I know it. You couldn’t wait to get under someone else now that we’re over, you threw yourself at the first person who’d take you.’

‘Are you fucking kidding me? You were the one who wanted another “break”, Adam. You were the one who had someone else in our bed only three days later, so don’t you dare talk to me like that when we both know this is all really about you.’

‘I’ve apologised for that over and over, and we weren’t even together,’ he snaps, and now he’s skiing directly across me, weaving from side to side and cutting it way too close when he passes in front.

‘That excuse is bullshit and you know it,’ I spit back, feeling less and less in control of my movements. ‘And could you stop doing that? Please. It’s putting me off.’

‘I’ll stop what I’m doing if you stop lying about you and the instructor.’

‘For fuck’s sake, Adam, when are you going to realise nothing I do is any of your business any more? Now can you please give me some space before I— SHIT!’

I hear him saying my name but it’s faint as my legs split, one ski getting caught on a bump whilst the other pulls me down to the ground. I hear a pop, or is it a crunch? Then my ankle burns with pain and I feel like I’m going to be sick. I curl into a ball, trying to think of nothing but my breathing, but the shock of the pain is still there.

‘Fuck, Lotts! Are you okay?’

Adam’s at my side, his face a mix of shock and fear as he scans over my body, assessing for any damage. He reaches out a hand to brush my plait away from my face, his mouth repeatedly forming the words ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again as he tries to remove the ski that stayed on.

It’s such a shift from how he was mere seconds before my fall, and I hate how much I like having him help me. I think about how easy it would be to let him put my broken pieces back together again. How I could pretend that we won’t be in this situation again. That we’ll change.

‘Lottie, are you okay, oh god I saw you go down,’ Tilly frets at my side, rubbing her hand up and down the arm that’s hugging at my foot.

‘And you!’ she shouts, whipping around to face Adam and jamming her index finger against his chest. ‘Don’t think I didn’t see you skiing around her like an idiot. Were you trying to make this happen?’

‘No! Of course not, why would I hurt Lottie?’ he says, hands raised up like he’s pleading to the police.

‘I don’t know, dickface, but you’ve been pretty great at hurting her lately.’

That shuts him up, and I’d love to high-five her, but I don’t want to move. I shift slightly and pain shoots down my ankle so intensely all I can do is wince.

‘What happened?’ I hear Meghan’s voice, and then two more pairs of skis appear in my peripheral, one carrying my lost ski.

‘My ankle,’ is all I get out between deep breaths, and I don’t go to move or say anything else until the nausea finally starts to subside.

‘I’ll help get her back to the chalet,’ Tilly says, still crouched by my side.

‘No, I’ll take her, you should stay on the slopes, practise a few more runs. David can help guide you,’ Lucas says.

Tilly grimaces at David like she’d rather hang out with anyone else. Her expression turns pleading, like she’s urging him to come up with a reason why they shouldn’t be the two left alone together.

David on the other hand only smiles widely and pats her on the shoulder. ‘You heard the man, I’m in charge.’

Tilly folds her arms tightly across her chest, clearly unimpressed with the turn her afternoon is taking.

Any further conversation is lost to me though, as I stay lying on the ground, too jittery to concentrate on anything for long except not throwing up.

Tilly still doesn’t move, but I reach out and give her wrist a squeeze. ‘They’re right, I’ll be fine. You go and have fun.’