Page 34 of Head Over Skis

‘Do you want this—’

He starts talking at the same time, throwing us into an awkward silence as we both wait for the other to go first. Opposite us, Meghan and Tilly watch over the tops of their pint glasses, taking slow sips as if they’re witnessing a film unfolding.

‘I wanted to apologise, for what happened on the mountain.’

‘You don’t need to apologise. I don’t mind people knowing,’ he says, brushing it off, and I realise I’ve been overthinking everything since that moment.

‘Oh, good.’

‘Good,’ he echoes back, and we’re back to that again. ‘Do you want a drink? I assumed you’d want a cider, but I can get you something else?’

‘No, cider is perfect,’ I say, liking how he remembers my go-to, and he slides the drink towards me.

I reach out to grab it, but he hasn’t pulled his fingers away from the glass yet. Mine brush against his, warm against the coolness of the glass. His hand shifts, and I expect him to pull away, but instead his fingers move so that our little fingers cross.

I hear someone clear their throat. Tilly’s trying to signal me, head bobbing manically towards the door where the rest of our friends are filing in. Adam trails after Lucas, laughing at something he’s said, and his eyes find mine immediately.

It takes me back to normal nights in London, and even at uni. Him arriving with the guys, sliding onto the bench at my side. Him ordering me a cider with a side of nachos because he also knows they’re my favourite pub food. His features glaze over, like he’s remembering it too, and it’s nice to share a moment of mutual recollection.

But then I watch as his eyes shift down to the glass in my hand, and I don’t move fast enough. Any fond expression is replaced with irritation, and a wave of guilt rushes over me even though all that happened was a brush of a hand.

Considering everything, I don’t know why he thinks he has the right to glare at me like I’ve committed some terrible crime, but he does, and I feel guilty.

I quickly pull my hand away, burrowing it into my lap in an attempt to avoid any drama, and mutter a thank you to Rory without meeting his stare.

As much as Tilly’s encouraging me to, I still know I can’t let anything happen with him while I’m here. Nothing’s happened as far as Adam knows, yet he’s sulking like someone’s pissed on his birthday cake. I don’t want to ruin this holiday for everyone else by making him upset or, god forbid, getting into a situation that forces anyone to pick sides.

Thankfully, a close-contact official Rory-and-Adam meeting is avoided when Rory notices the clock on the wall behind me.

‘I better get going, I’ve got a private session in five minutes. Have a good afternoon, and I’ll see you guys tomorrow,’ he says, not only to the three of us but also to Stephen, Penny and Bill, who have all sat together further down the table.

Lucas slides into a gap on the bench opposite, while David chooses instead to scoot around the back to head to the corner seat. Once he’s passed me, I catch his hand brush across Tilly’s lower back. She leans back into it, before bolting forward and sending him a glare that only I catch before he settles opposite us, acting like nothing happened. Adam then appears and takes the newly vacant place at my side. He doesn’t say anything at first, and I can tell he’s battling with himself over whether to confront me about that moment with Rory, or to let it go.

‘Did you have a good morning?’

A weight lifts from my chest when he chooses to leave it, which is a step forward from how he acted last night.

‘It was fine, I’m shaky still, but definitely better than yesterday. And we went further up the mountain.’

‘That’s awesome! Show me where.’ He takes a small map out of his pocket and starts unfolding it. While I try to remember the route we took to get down, the others opposite me are consulting their own map.

‘There was that blue that starts at the top of the chairlift near the 109? Do you remember? The one that snakes down through the 50 then merges with the blue 13? Or instead we could carry on and it becomes the 44—’

‘Don’t you mean the 43?’ Adam chimes in, attention diverted from our conversation.

They all keep talking about possible routes for the afternoon, but I lose track of what they’re saying as my fingers fiddle with a napkin that lies next to my drink.

An abandoned pen sits to the right of David, which he’d previously been using to mark parts of the map, and I get an idea. I swipe it before he can notice, then unfold the napkin and flatten it out on the table in front of me. The voices of the others drone on, but I don’t hear them, my thoughts wholly focused on the drawing I’m etching onto the small white square.

It’s rough, and I think I’ve punched a fair few holes through the thin fabric with my overly eager pen, but I keep going. I’m overcome with the need to create something, and it’s a calling I want to grab onto and not let go of. When I finish, I’m presented with a tiny depiction of Rory, Penny and I, on the chairlift. I love it instantly.

I quickly tuck it away safely in my pocket before anyone sees, especially Adam, then tune back in as the others seem to finalise a plan. When I think about putting my skis back on and trying to concentrate enough to follow them down a route I’ve never done before though, I’m more tired than enthusiastic. Tilly is absently rubbing her shoulder opposite me, and I can tell she’s feeling exactly the same way.

‘You know what,’ she says, taking charge on our behalf. ‘Meghan, you’re welcome to join the guys if you want, but I’m done for the day and am in desperate need of a massage if my muscles are going to make it to the end of this holiday. Fancy joining me, Lottie?’

I try not to sound too excited as I finish off my drink and push it towards the other empties in the middle of the table. ‘Why not? We’ve had a good day, and I could do with the recharge.’

Meghan decides to stick with the boys, and I’m glad for her because she’s definitely the best out of the three of us and I think it’ll be a good challenge for her.