Page 82 of Royal Desire

I smile at the memory but feel the need to correct him. “We always did what we wanted, but when your parents were gone, we didn’t have to sneak around to do it.”

“True. You taught me everything when it came to that.”

“You can thank me for not living a boring and depressing life.” I look down at the picture. “I had an entire box dedicated to us in my closet at Grandma’s house. It’s gone. Every picture and memento ... gone forever.”

Payne rests his fine ass on the edge of the desk. “I’m no chick. I don’t have a box, but I never threw away a thing you gave me. Though I do admit to packing it up and shoving it into a corner in a closet. You can have anything you want.”

I look up and swallow over the boulder in my throat. “Thank you.”

He pauses a beat before he lowers his voice. “I’ll give you anything, baby. Everything.”

I don’t let the picture go and turn, taking another, closer look around the room for the simple fact I can’t look him in the eyes. “I know you will, even though I don’t deserve it. The last thing I ever wanted in life was to hurt you.”

The air in the room turns stagnant and thick. I hear him move before I feel him. His arms wrap around me from behind and his wide chest warms my back. I had no idea how cold I was.

When a shiver runs down my spine, his hold on me tightens. “It’s been over a decade, Ruby. Let’s move on.”

“No. We can’t move on with this between us.” The tears spill down my cheeks—not for me, but for him. “I can’t go another moment without telling you.” I pull away enough to turn in his arms. My sweaty fingers grip the picture of how we used to be. Right now, it’s the lifeline I need. “I don’t want anything between us. Not one secret or one painful crack in our souls. You can say it doesn’t matter, but it does. You have to know.”

Payne doesn’t hesitate. His hands frame my face as he looks deep into my eyes. “Nothing you say will change anything.”

He’s right, and I’m grateful because I need him now more than ever.

Still.

He needs to know...

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

TRASH

Ruby

Past

Twelve years ago

“Are you sure you don’t mind? Sadie should be there.”

“I’m pulling up to your house now. I’ll grab your stuff and be on the road. I can’t wait to see you.”

It’s the middle of our sophomore year. Payne is enjoying his free ride at State, while I’m working at the sub shop just to pay for classes through the local junior college. The only reason I’m taking classes is because I don’t know what else to do with my life. The career options for singing and basic choreography in Winslet are nil.

Not even nil.

Try a big fat zero.

So as I wait for the heavens to open up and hit me with inspiration or slap me with the meaning of life, I’m taking classes like public speaking, trigonometry, and early European history while Payne takes everything pre-law and interns at a firm in Seattle.

We might have a small commute from each other, but we see each other every weekend even though he rarely comes home. I usually go there. We have privacy, and he wants to be around his parents about as much as one wants to have teeth pulled.

But it’s getting cold, and he forgot to pack his coat the last time he was home, so I’m grabbing it before I head to the city.

“Be careful. Let me know when you’re on your way. Love you, Ruby-doo.”

I smile as I climb out of my car and head to the front door. I can probably count on one hand the times I’ve been here without Payne. I press the doorbell. “I love you too. See you soon.”

Payne says goodbye at the same time the front door opens. I take a step back when it’s not Sadie or the housekeeper of the week. Tallie hasn’t been able to keep anyone on staff long enough for me to learn their names ever since my mom skipped town.