Page 74 of Royal Desire

He shakes his head once. “Not yet. They’ll bring in a fire investigator and a K9. But who else would set fire to the home you just moved back into?”

I shake my head as my stomach drops. “I never dreamed this would happen. I never would have come home.”

“I’m sorry, baby. There will be a full report soon, but the evidence is strong.”

I choke back a cry and plant my face in his chest. “She almost died, and it was all my fault.”

He presses his lips to my temple where he speaks in hushed words. “I wanted you to know before tomorrow. This isn’t your fault. You need to process it and realize you didn’t bring this on yourself or your family.”

My tears become racked sobs. He holds me tighter to support my weight. Thoughts of Grandma being trapped in that burning house flood my brain.

I thought it could be because of me, but to have it confirmed is too much.

The next thing I know, he’s supporting me in every way. My feet leave the floor as he wraps an arm around my back and scoops me up behind the knees. My remorse takes over, and I can’t process what he’s doing until he sits on the bed with me in his lap and twists. I’m cradled against him where he holds me and my raw guilt.

My cries turn into hiccups as he tries to console me. “I’m sorry, baby. I knew this would happen. This is why I had to tell you before tomorrow.”

“She doesn’t d-d-deserve this.” My words come out jagged. All of a sudden, I’m cold and my body trembles against his. “Why would anyone want to hurt an old woman? Come for me if he hates me, but not her. What if Blake had been there?”

His lips are pressed to my hair as his hands stroke my back trying to calm me. “No one deserved this. Not your family and not you. But it will never happen again. It’s one reason I’m moving you all into my house. You’ll be safe there. It’s remote, gated, and I have cameras all over. No one will hurt any of you again. I won’t allow it.”

I let myself sink into him and absorb his warmth and his comfort. I don’t deserve it, but I take every ounce.

As if he can read my mind, he keeps talking. “You didn’t ask for Caruso’s attention. When you felt something was off, you did the only thing you could do and left. You came home where you belong.”

Do I belong here?

Grandma almost died because of me.

My body continues to tremble as my sobs become fewer and farther between.

“I’ve got you, baby. I’ll never let you go.”

I pull in a shaky breath and angle my face up to his. I’m sure I look like a blubbery mess, but I can’t help it. I have to know. “Why don’t you hate me? If I deserve anything in the world for leaving you with no word, it’s that.”

His thumb brushes the tears away from my cheek where his hand frames the side of my face. “I told you. I tried. Fuck, I tried so hard I almost married a woman I didn’t love. Hating you is the only thing in life I’ve ever failed at.”

I blink away tears to see him through clear eyes. I ask the question I’ve needed the answer to ever since Grandma told me he was engaged. “You didn’t love her?”

“No.” His gaze drags over every feature of my face. “How could I love anyone else when I’ve had you? I decided I’d rather be alone and miserable than faking life with someone who wasn’t the real thing. It’s always been you.”

Tears fill my eyes again. “I don’t deserve that either. I don’t deserve you after leaving with no word.”

“Maybe not,” he agrees. “But I had to give into my heart.”

I bury my face in his neck and wipe my tears on his clean T-shirt. It’s soft over his firm chest, and we smell like the same soap. There’s something oddly intimate about that, but I can’t process it at the moment.

“You’re not sleeping on the sofa,” he murmurs into my messy hair. “You’re not leaving my arms, baby.”

I don’t utter another word. Tonight has been too much.

But there’s one thing I don’t do, and that’s argue.

Not only does Payne not hate me, but I’m back in his arms, and he wants me here. I need to tell him why I left. After all these years, I shouldn’t be afraid to, but I am.

I don’t pull away from him.

I burrow closer. I need to be close to him tonight more than anything.