Page 71 of Breakaway

“Alright, my dear. That should cover it for today; make sure you’re taking in lots of fluids over the next seven days. Are there any questions or concerns you have?” She cleans the gel off my belly and helps me to a seated position. Belatedly, I remember Briggs insisting that I mention the bleeding incident.

“Actually,” I trail off, peering at Dayton from the corner of my eye. He raises an eyebrow, his feet rooted to the floor, the two of us in a silent standoff. It’s not that I want privacy, per se; I just don’t want him to blame himself. With a resigned huff, I continue. “I had some spotting Friday night. After intercourse. Briggs felt certain it was normal, but he thought it’d be wise for me to let you know.” Dayton’s entire body goes taut, his beautiful blue eyes simmering with fury. Not for me, but for himself. Which is exactly what I was trying to avoid.

“Oh!” Dr. Baker’s surprise helps to cool the rising temperature of the room, giving Dayton something to focus on. She glances between the two of us, likely wondering who the culprit is–him or Briggs–but little does she know, there are actually two more it could be. “Unless it was bright red in color, I don’t think it warrants a pelvic exam, considering there were no signs of anything abnormal on the ultrasound. Your placenta looked great, so I see no cause for alarm. I don’t want to introduce the risk of bacteria unless it’s definitively necessary. Spotting during the third trimester is fairly common, but keep an eye on things, and if you experience any bleeding again, especially outside of intercourse, contact the office immediately. If it’s after hours, the emergency line will forward you to the on-call nurse, so never hesitate to reach out.” Her kind smile sets me at ease.

“It was darker in color, so no worry there,” I reply, feeling marginally better, although I never doubted Briggs’ assessment.

“Great!” Dr. Baker stands, disposing of her gloves before handing me the disc with my sonogram recording. “I’ll see you next time, Andi.” I wave goodbye and right my clothes, keenly aware of Dayton’s presence and the cloud of regret blanketing the room. Before either of us can speak about it, there’s a light knock at the door, and a nurse enters with an IV pole and the fluids Dr. Baker insisted I get. My body tenses at the prospect of being stuck with a needle, but Dayton steps closer, his hand cupping the back of my head as I bury my face against his chest. The pinch of the needle being inserted makes me flinch, but I breathe through my nose, knowing this is necessary to ensure both the baby and I are healthy.

“Okay, dear. You’re all set. I’ll grab you a blanket, though, just in case you get cold,” the kind nurse tells me. She’s back in seconds, tucking me in before excusing herself once again. I keep my eyes closed, not wanting to see the evidence of how similar my current predicament is to the blood-letting Veritas used to put me through. During the forty minutes it takes for the fluids to be disbursed, neither of us says a word. When I’m finally freed of the catheter pinching my arm, a sigh of relief parts my lips. As I slide off the table and go to leave, Dayton’s hand snaps out and halts my progress. Almost instantly, his hold on my wrist gentles, as if I’m made of glass and he’s scared of breaking me. When I meet his tortured blue eyes, my stomach dips. How are men like him even real? Ones who beat themselves up over the thought of causing you pain, and yet someone like Tobias walked this same plane of existence.

“I hurt you, Butterfly?” The agony in his voice is tangible.

“No, Dayton. You’d never hurt me,” I assure him. “In case you forgot, I was a willing participant and just as eager as you were. No one’s to blame; it’s just a part of pregnancy.”

“I swear, I’d rather cut my dick off than ever bring you pain,” he expresses vehemently, his hands cradling my stomach as he drops his forehead to mine.

“Please don’t; I’m rather fond of it,” I tease. Dayton groans, pulling back slightly so he can place a tender kiss against my lips.

“Stop talking about my dick, sweetheart. I’m already half-hard, and I’d rather not have to walk out of here with the imprint of it on display.”

“I’d prefer that didn’t happen either,” I agree, the thought of another woman catching sight of him making me slightly homicidal. I really am a hypocrite. “Let’s go then.” I take his hand in mine, leading the way and covering the crotch of his pants with my body.

We quickly schedule my next appointment with the receptionist, and when I take out Briggs’ credit card to pay for the visit, Dayton swipes it from my hand and replaces it with his own. I gape at him in shock, but he only smirks at me, then leans down and whispers, “He’s not the only one who gets to take care of you, Butterfly.” I press my lips together to keep from causing a scene, swallowing down the urge to argue because I know his generosity comes from a place of love.

Despite the chilly temperature, the sun is shining brightly when we exit onto the sidewalk. Dayton keeps his head on a swivel, as usual, guiding me towards the Jeep with a hand splayed across my lower back. It’s a short drive to the Italian bistro we chose for lunch, my stomach growling the moment we step inside and the scent of garlic bread greets us. Col and Hudson are already seated at a booth in the back, my sweet boy squealing in excitement when his eyes connect with mine.

“Hi, baby!” I pepper his cheek with kisses. As badly as I want to unbuckle him from his highchair so I can cuddle him against me, I refrain. If I take him out now, we might never get him back in. “How was therapy?” I ask, sliding across the bench seat so Dayton can take the outside.

“He did great,” Col answers, ruffling Hudson’s curls affectionately. “Apparently, a certain little boy responds very well to being rewarded with M&M’s. He said three new words today: cat, dog, and baby.” I’m practically bouncing in my seat, overjoyed that he’s doing so well.

“Bay!” Hudson repeats, doing his best to mimic the sound but missing a consonant.

“Are you excited for the baby, too, little man?” Dayton asks, his fingers grazing mine. Col narrows his eyes at the contact, quickly averting his attention. Hudson’s jibbering isn’t much of an answer, but we take it to mean yes. We fall into an awkward silence, each of us browsing the menu to keep busy. When Hudson gets antsy, Col pulls out a fruit pouch and twists the top off before handing it to him. The waitress finally arrives and asks for our drink orders, but Dayton surprises me when he lets us know that he won’t be staying.

“I need to meet Briggs in town. The two of us have something we need to take care of,” he explains. My brows pinch in confusion, but Col voices my inner thoughts before I get the chance to, just a lot more rudely.

“Since when are you and Briggs friends?” he snorts derisively.

“Oh, I don’t know, Col,” Dayton starts, his tone dripping in sarcasm. “Since about two years ago, I suppose, when he showed up on our doorstep, lost and barely making it through the day. I might’ve forgotten that recently because of my own trauma, but at least I’m trying to make amends. I’ll see you at home, Butterfly.” He doesn’t give Col the time to formulate a response before he drops a kiss on my and Hudson’s heads and exits the restaurant without another word.

I toy with my napkin-covered silverware, feeling incredibly uncomfortable after witnessing the two of them being so angry with one another, but also feeling like I’m the culprit of their newfound issues. I debate if we should even continue lunch, but the waitress returns with our drinks and takes our orders before I can suggest leaving. We eat in silence mostly, exchanging the occasional question or two, but it’s all surface-level conversation, and I hate every second of it.

Our first time speaking on the phone wasn’t even this awkward, the two of us connecting instantly. There were nights we could’ve talked for hours about the most mundane things, and yet I’m struggling to fill the silence right now. How the hell did we get here? Me, that’s how. My stupid, greedy heart that wanted to have her cake and eat it, too.

After lunch, we head to a nearby grocery store. As I consult the coupons I clipped last week, Col keeps Hudson entertained. For a while, things feel normal, the three of us breezing through the aisles, laughing at the squeals tumbling out of Hudson whenever Col pushes the cart faster than necessary. When it’s becoming obvious that we’re drawing attention to ourselves, my cheeks turn pink, and I focus back on the task at hand. At the checkout counter, a middle-aged woman smiles dreamily at the sight we make.

“You have a beautiful family,” she comments, handing over the last of our bagged items. I swallow thickly, unsure of how to respond. I smile in thanks, then move aside so Colsen can pay. Once we’re finished, we head towards his truck and get Hudson situated. It’s a short drive to The Village, and Col runs everything inside so we don’t have to unbuckle Hudson again. Once he’s back behind the wheel, the air is thick with things unsaid. We barely make it a mile down the road before I can’t bite my tongue any longer.

“I’m sorry. I know I’m the reason you and Dayton are at each other’s throats. I hate it, Col. I hate that I’m fucked up inside and want more than what I’m supposed to by society’s standards. I didn’t fall for all of you on purpose.” My voice trails off at the end, full of defeat. He doesn’t respond to anything I’ve said, his stoicism making me wonder if he’s even heard me. We enter the construction site a moment later, the truck bouncing across the gravel before we come to a stop outside of a mobile office building. After shifting into park, Col turns to face me, his hand gripping the back of my head to ensure my focus doesn’t stray.

“There’s not a thing wrong with you, Sunshine,” he promises. “This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me.”

“Then talk to me,” I beg. “Ask me whatever questions you need to, or vent your frustrations. Whatever’s going to help you, I’ll do it.” I twine our fingers together, squeezing them tightly, as if I’m desperate to hold on when I can feel him slipping away.

“That’s just it, Sunshine.” Col shakes his head sadly. “If what I needed was for you to choose, would you do it?” I suck in a pained breath, my heart and mind at war with one another, desperate to give him the answer he wants but knowing I can’t. He nods in resignation, a ragged exhale escaping him. He kisses my forehead before exiting the truck, busying himself with unclipping Hudson. I take several deep breaths, packing away my hurt and worry, terrified that I’ve already lost him.

My fingers tremble as I press the button to undo my seatbelt, barely getting it off before my door is flung open and Roy is standing there, dressed impeccably and completely out of place given the current environment. His electric blue bowtie matches his socks, as per usual, and his now familiar presence serves as a balm to my battered heart. I hug him tightly, grateful to have someone I consider a father figure in my life.