Page 63 of Give Me Peace

Havok’s eyes narrow as he watches me closely. “What makes you so sure?” I shrug, debating if I should elaborate. I’d hate to offend him. When he doesn’t seem to take that as an answer, I sigh and hope my words come across the way I intend them to.

“You grew up with nothing. It’s natural you’d want a flashy car. It’s common, really. Most people who come from very little want to own nicer things. A way to say ‘hey, I made it’.” I wait for him to laugh or brush me off, maybe turn things around on me like he used to. But Havok just nods in agreement. “Besides, you were always a cocky little show-off.” I grin, hoping to lighten the mood. He drops his back head as he laughs, so it must’ve worked.

“I’ll show you cocky,” he grumbles, pulling his keys from his pocket. I catch them just before they smack me in the face. “Let’s go, pretty girl.” My lip’s part, shocked he’s offering up his own car for me to learn in. Havok takes the passenger seat, leaving me no choice but to get behind the wheel. As soon as I close the door, my worry ratchets up another hundred levels.

His leather seats are softer than a baby’s butt, and the display screen looks like it came straight from a UFO. In other words, this car is going to put a dent in that bank account he amassed for me when I inevitably have to replace or repair it. Havok taps a button built into the visor above me and the garage door behind us begins to lift. My palms are sweating so much I’m not sure I can even grip the steering wheel.

“Is it automatic?” I look down, feeling stupid for asking when I can see that it clearly is.

Havok laughs. “It’s dual, but you won’t be using the paddles to shift. I’d like to keep my transmission in one piece.” I scowl but nod my head in agreement. Smart call on his end.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road. Press and hold the brake, Say.” I do as he says, then tap the button he points at. The engine roars to life, the hum of power making me smile giddily. “Good girl. Now drop the shifter into reverse and back us out.” I do as instructed, watching the camera that pops up on the display and letting it guide me. I ease off the brake and barely give it any gas. Somehow, we still fly out way faster than I expected. I squeak and slam my foot back down.

Havok grunts, bracing his hand on the dash to keep from jolting forward. “Shit, Say. You just squashed the fuck out of that bug.” We both laugh, the saying reminding me of all the times Mom would use it when she’d stop too quickly. “Take a deep breath and go again. You got this.” I shake off the nerves and let my foot up, allowing the slight slope of the driveway to pull us backwards without giving it any gas. It’s a slow crawl, but better than me gunning it.

“Now, drop it into drive and turn the wheel. You’ve got enough room to spin us around.” Havok grins, watching me closely as I grip the gear shifter. As soon as we’re facing the straightaway that leads to the main road, I press the gas with a little more force. My brain completely malfunctions when I try to slow us down some and I wind up using both feet. Havok laughs, not the least bit worried about the damage his precious car stands to sustain with me in control.

“Lighten up, pretty girl. You’re doing great.”

“Easy for you to say. You’ve always had a reckless streak.” I grimace, realizing too late how insensitive that sounded.

“Never with you, Say.” I glance at him, the sincere tone in his voice tugging at my chest. “I’d dive headfirst between your feet and hit the brake with damn hand before I let anything happen to you. I told you before, but I’ll say it a million more times if I have to—I got you.” I let my stress fade away and relax against the soft leather seat. For the next half hour, Havok patiently guides me up and down the driveway. By the time we make our last trip back and head for the garage, my confidence has grown exponentially.

Parking makes me more nervous than the actual driving, but I thankfully manage to steer clear of hitting anything. As soon as the engine cuts off, I throw my door open and jump out. I take a much-needed drag of air, then turn my grin on Havok as he rounds the front of the car.

“I did it!” I launch myself into his waiting arms, my laughter joining his as catches me.

“You sure as fuck did.” He gently sets me on the hood, his hands holding my hips as he looks down at me with pride. “So proud of you, baby.” The air shifts, the space between us evaporating before my very eyes. Baby. He’s used that endearment before, but there’s something about it that drives me crazy. We stare at one another, me lost for what to do and him searching for…something. Whatever it is, he must find it.

“Say.” Havok brushes his nose against mine, then trails it down the line of my jaw. My face feels like it’s on fire. I’m not sure if I want to push him away or drag him closer. “Goddamn this is my favorite color.” He presses sweet kisses to the apple of my cheeks, groaning as he moves in closer, forcing my thighs to spread to accommodate his frame. The anticipation is killing me, waiting to feel his mouth on mine, but he steps back instead, adding more confusion to the mix.

“Come on.” Havok holds out his hand, and after a second of contemplation, I take it. My mind is working hard, churning out one theory after another as to why he pulled away. He must sense the question I’m not brave enough to voice because he stops us at the base of the stairs and holds my face with his calloused hands. “When we go there, Say…I need you to be there, too. I want you just as desperate for me as I am for you. Want your hands fisted in my shirt, urging me closer. Your fingers tugging on my hair as you beg for me not to stop. But you aren’t there yet, and that’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.” He drops a lingering kiss to my forehead, but I’m too stunned to speak.

I feel antsy, the thrum in my body making me want to act on impulse and do all the things he just described. I bite my lip instead. He’s right. My thoughts had been warring between it being too much and not enough. And until I know for sure that’s what I want, it’s not fair to start anything I can’t or won’t finish. Not to mention the kiss I’ve shared with Kash or the intimate way I was curled up on Lochlan’s lap earlier. Shame tries to rear its ugly head, but I force it away. I let Havok lead me inside, deciding not to fixate on the impending problem. This connection between the six of us will need to be addressed at some point, but not today.

“There you are!” Kash hops down from the island, pulling a sucker from his mouth right before smacking his sticky lips next to mine. I glance at Havok, but he’s already in the kitchen, pulling a coke from the fridge and not paying us any mind. I make a dramatic show of wiping the kiss away, groaning about the sugar trail it leaves behind. Kash expels a sharp breath in feigned offence. “Oh, no you didn’t,” he growls, grabbing me before I can make a run for it.

Kash tosses me on the couch, his hard body coming down on top of mine as he rains kisses all over my face, making sure to wipe his mouth against my neck, too. I’m laughing so hard tears fill my eyes. I beg him to stop, but he just doubles down. I’m vaguely aware that Lochlan is watching us from the opening of the hallway, his eyes sparkling every time another giggle breaks free.

“Did you learn your lesson?” Kash pulls back to look at me, his breaths coming in quick pants from all the work it’s taking to keep me from wiggling away.

“And what would that be?” I goad him, enjoying the playfulness that comes so easily between us.

“That my kisses are here to stay,” Kash whispers, bringing the lollipop to my mouth. I have no idea how he held onto it this entire time, but I’m not surprised. He’d never let sugar go to waste. Slowly, he runs the candy over my closed lips. Quicker than I can process, he darts his tongue out and licks it away. “Mmm. So good, sweetness.” And then he’s gone, sauntering off to join Havok while I lay here flustered and dumbfounded. I take a quick peek to see if Lochlan’s still watching, relieved to find he’s made his way to the kitchen as well.

I shake off the moment and walk over, holding Kash’s eye as I purposely lick the remaining strawberry flavor from my mouth. He stops mid-sentence, his attention thoroughly derailed. I grin, happy I could return the favor and scramble his brain a bit, too. Grabbing a barstool, I bite back a laugh as Havok repeatedly snaps his fingers in front of Kash’s face. He grunts and tunes back into the conversation. A few minutes later, Roan and Krew amble in, the latter looking dead on his feet.

“What’s that smell?” I ask.

“Shit.” Kash whips around, pulling a tray from the oven. “That would be pizza tots.” I lean over, admiring the individual pans of tater-tots, pizza sauce, cheese, and varying different meats for toppings. They look delicious.

“Yum.” I grin, excited to try another of Kash’s creations. He hands me a plain pepperoni, but I give it some time to cool before digging in.

Havok opens the fridge and grabs a few beers out. “All for you, pretty girl. Your wish is our command.” My eyes widen when he winks and places one in front of me.

“To the point of drunk and not an ounce more. Got it?” Lochlan pins me with that authoritative gaze of his. I’m sure he’s balking at letting me consume alcohol while still being underage, but I appreciate him taking the Boss Man hat off for the night. Doesn’t stop me from teasing him, though.

I flutter my lashes, giving him the sweetest smile I can manage without laughing. “Yes, sir.” Roan chokes on his drink, but Krew pats his back, a smirk finding its way to his tired face.