Page 16 of Give Me Peace

Krew hops off the counter and saunters towards a corner in the kitchen. He bends and picks the lizard up, but instead of going out the back patio, he spins around and flings it at Kash. What follows is the highest pitched squeal I’ve ever heard. Kash scrambles away, but his foot slips and down he goes. He jumps back up, wiggling his body all around while repeating, “Get if off! Get it off!” I giggle, the sound slipping out unconsciously. Roan’s eyes widen, his grin filling his whole face as he watches me.

“Hey, Kash.” Roan presses and holds another button, activating a microphone feature. “Thanks for the laugh, buddy. Saylor just got to see firsthand how big of a pussy you are.” He’s smiling, so I know the insult is meant jokingly. Both men whip their heads up and face the camera. The picture is so clear, not at all pixelated, which leads me to believe their equipment is new and likely top of the line.

“Uh,” Kash clears his throat, smoothing down his clothes as if they’re wrinkled. They’re not. “Hi. It’s nice to sort of meet you.” Kash waves, his voice noticeably dropping a few decibels. Roan snorts and shakes his head.

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow.” He ends the video feed and goes back to munching on his food. I watch longingly as he eats a fry, the greasy smell so good it’s making my mouth water. Roan extends the bag, offering me one. “I won’t tell if you don’t.” His smirk is secretive and for the first time, it feels like someone isn’t handling me with kid gloves. He’s giving me a choice, knowing I’m aware it might not go over well, but ultimately leaving it up to me to decide. I pluck a single fry from his outstretched hand and take the smallest bite. I groan. God, that’s good. I savor the rest of it but refrain from eating any more. Roan stares back in amusement, riveted to the sight of me enjoying a damn french-fry. After I finish, he hands me my water, and I down the remainder of what was in the cup.

“That good, huh?” He laughs, the sound making a tiny smile grace my lips. I can’t help but run my finger across them, wanting to feel the difference. We’re quiet for a while, but it’s not uncomfortable. The opposite, really. There’s no pressure to fill the silence; I can just be.

“How many people do you work with?” I question after a while, my curiosity getting the best of me. It’d also be smart to get some more information before I have to make a decision about tomorrow.

“There’s five of us. Me, Loch, Kash, Krew, and Kade. Kade’s currently working an assignment on the west coast, but he’ll be home shortly,” Roan replies, arms crossed behind his head and eyes closed. He’s the picture of relaxation, so he must not be bothered by my inquisitiveness.

“And you all live together? Here in Florida?” That’s been my assumption, but maybe I should stop jumping to conclusions. They could be from another state, for all I know.

“Yep.” He nods, still looking peaceful as he lounges. “Our main house is about three hours from here, near Pensacola. It’s our home base, but we have a condo in Seattle, as well. It’s only used when we have work in the area.”

“Do you always bring your clients home for safe keeping?” I hope that doesn’t sound snotty. I’m genuinely curious how this typically works for them.

“Never. You’d be the first. Any protection details we’ve worked have always taken place wherever the client resides,” he states emphatically.

“So, why me then?” I ask the question before I’ve fully thought it through. The backs of my eyes burn when I remember I don’t have a home, so I technically reside nowhere.

“You’re different.” Roan stares at me intently, willing me to understand. I look away, the moment too charged for my liking. I don’t think it’s fully set in how alone I am. I have no family left, not a single person I could call on for a place to stay or a simple shoulder to cry on. Loneliness is something I’ve become intimately acquainted with, and I loathe it. I think I’ve been so open to having Lochlan and Roan around because I don’t want to be the only person in a room ever again. The door opens and Nurse Karley steps in, looking much more rested than she did this morning. She smiles, a sight that’s quickly growing on me, and starts the routine check of my vitals.

“Looking good, kiddo,” Karley comments as she writes everything down on the whiteboard. “I’ve got some stuff for you, and wanted to see if you’d like another shower? Things are a bit slow at the moment, so I’ve got time to help.” She glances back at me over her shoulder, so I nod politely.

Roan takes that as a sign to clear out for a while, but sweetly brushes his thumb along the inside of my wrist before walking away. Karley helps me out bed, but it’s slow going now that the stronger meds have been cut back. My ribs feel like they’re on fire, and there’s a general soreness that radiates from every inch of my body, including my hair. By the time I manage to undress and slip the brace off, I’m a panting mess.

“Sorry, honey. There’s not much we can do for bruised ribs. Compression is no longer recommended, but the anti-inflammatory you’ve been prescribed will help.” I grunt, hoping the hot water will loosen my muscles. Karley closes the door behind her once I’m safely in the shower, giving me a few minutes alone. I close my eyes and lean against the tiled wall, my bad hand cradled to my chest. It feels so good I could fall asleep, but my mind is too chaotic to rest.

I don’t know what the right thing to do is. I could tell Agent Denvers I’d rather be placed in an official safe house, but then I’d be starting over with people I’ve never met. Lochlan asked me to trust him, and I do—on a surface level. We put our faith in strangers every day, to some extent, with the expectation for them to be decent human beings. Cab drivers, blind dates…we constantly walk into situations under the assumption that we’re in good hands, but there’s no certainty.

I never would’ve imagined Liam Price was capable of the things he did to me. I know it could’ve been so much worse, but there’s still this disbelief that he harmed me at all. Having my trust broken so brutally, by someone I thought I knew, has left me questioning everything. But I think I’d feel better if I go with Lochlan. I haven’t felt panicked around him or Roan, and I might not have the same reaction to whoever would be in charge at the safe house. It could be a disaster.

Agent Denvers thinks this is the best option, and I’m inclined to agree. I just hope this isn’t another one of those moments where I’m caving to everyone else’s wishes and discarding my own. That girl who aimed to please feels foreign, though. A part of me will always want to avoid conflict as much as possible, but no longer to the detriment of my own wellbeing. I’ve lost too much to allow anyone to walk all over me ever again.

“You ready for me?” Karley calls out, derailing my inner turmoil.

“Just about.” I quickly run the soap over my body, loving how clean it smells. I used to have a stockpile of shower gels, like most teen girls, with every scent imaginable. Seems frivolous now, when I’m thrilled with plain old Irish Springs. Karley helps me with my hair, but I try to do as much as possible, knowing I’ll have to figure it out on my own after tonight. Once I’m dry and she’s brushed through any tangles, she offers me a pair of scrubs.

“Since you’re leaving tomorrow, I figured you’d rather be fully clothed while doing it.” She smirks. “This is going to be rough on your ribs, but I sized up so it’ll be a little easier to get the top on.” We try several different ways of contorting my body but wind up with me sitting on the toilet as she works my arms through one at a time. I’m sweating when we finally get the dang thing on, making me wonder why I even bothered with a shower.

“I got you some stuff.” Karley pulls out a Target bag and empties the contents onto the counter. “There’s deodorant, a razor, some shaving cream, toothbrush and toothpaste, and though I wasn’t certain of your preference, I decided to grab a few feminine items.” She lays out three packages of pads, all in different sizes. One pantyliner, one for regular wear, and the last for overnight. I never wore tampons; I’d been too scared to try them.

“They’re perfect,” I choke out as tears burn the back of my eyes. I was rarely given anything like this, most of the time I’d have to make something work with extra toilet paper or an old rag. He’d rather I bleed all over myself than allow me any sort of comfort. But at least he wouldn’t touch me for a week. Unfortunately, I’ve never been regular and my periods tend come and go as they please. Most girls dread their time of the month, but for five years I’ve coveted mine.

“Oh, honey.” Karley wraps her arms around me. It makes me tense, but I don’t pull away. She’s been nothing but kind to me. “I’ll give you a minute.” Once she’s gone, I wipe the tears from my face and move to stand in front of the sink. With a deep, fortifying breath, I raise my head and glance in the mirror. It’s the first time I’ve seen my own reflection since I was fourteen. I’ve been too nervous to look. My hair is so long it reaches the base of my spine. It’s still wet, so the blonde looks darker than usual.

My eyes are the same bright blue they’ve always been, a trait I got from a father I barely remember, and my skin is pale from the years I’ve spent deprived of the sun. I was always tan, having grown up so close to the beach. Mom called me her little gingerbread. It’s alarming, seeing this person who’s me but somehow isn’t. Worst of all, there’s a dark bruise along my right temple that spans halfway down my face. I want to scrub it from my skin, but there’s a dozen more littering my body that have failed to go unnoticed every time I shower.

Each one is an ominous reminder of what Liam Price is capable of. He’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and he played the part brilliantly. I clear my throat and look away, wishing it was possible to speed up the healing process. I open the toothbrush Karley got me and get to scrubbing. The toothpaste is so minty it makes my eyes sting, but there will be no complaints from me. The tubes I’ve been using were cheap, and probably expired. After I’m done, I place everything back in the bag and exit the bathroom. Lochlan is back, but Roan is gone. He’s setting up my dinner tray but stops once he hears me.

“Hey,” he greets me. “You look like you’re ready for your first shift.” He nods to the blue scrubs I’m wearing with a grin.

“Well, I couldn’t leave with you guys in only a hospital gown.” I attempt a smile in return, but I’m pretty sure it falls flat. I place the Target bag on the floor, and climb into bed so slowly, I could pass for a turtle. The ibuprofen has worn off, and all that twisting and turning to get my top on has exacerbated the pain.

“You’re going to come home with us?” Lochlan steps falter, his honey-colored gaze clashing with mine. I nod, feeling mostly confident in my decision. His eyes close on a quiet exhale, and then he smiles. “That’s great, Saylor.”