Page 74 of The Edge of Darkness

I knew that look. I’d fought the notion myself, countless times. He felt like he was lacking purpose.

The question I asked next wasn’t something I planned on asking, but for some reason, I began to wonder about it. “Remic, is it possible for someone to have two Dionachs? Two guardians?”

“I’ve never known that to happen. But given who you are, it could be possible.”

“Would you know? I mean, if you were charged with guarding me, wouldn’t you feel it, or something?”

“I’ve been told the connection feels like a magnetic pull. Almost like a fae mating bond, but with none of the romantic attraction. But the main confirmation is through a wardeness. Without one, our connection to Torin is lost.”

“What does your wardeness say?”

His eyes lowered to a point across the silver-tipped mountains. “I lost my wardeness long ago.”

My heart cracked.

“Remic, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to⁠—”

“You could not have known,” he said, blinking. “And it was so long ago now, I hardly remember the sound of her voice.”

Pain fell over his face like a veil, and I had to look away before I became too emotional.

Surprisingly, he spoke again. “There was a battle amongst the Ancient Fae territories. At the time, the witches were in negotiations for land with what is now the Woodland Court. When the fae waged war amongst each other, Torin offered twelve of her finest wardenesses to help the Woodland Court, as a sign of good faith, and in the hope of furthering an agreement once the war was over. But the bastard who called himself the leader of that territory sacrificed them like swine. He made false promises, and had no intention of following through with his half of the deal. He used the wardenesses for what he thought they were worth, and left them to be slaughtered.” A muscle feathered in his jaw. “My wardeness was one of the fallen.”

A pang of sorrow rang through me.

“I was young then, and hadn’t received my summons yet. It’s such a rare occurrence for a Dionach to lose his wardeness before his summons, but if it does happen, the Dionach is essentially cast out, and left to wander the world alone. There is no need for a Dionach who cannot receive his summons.” He blinked and looked further out on the horizon. “Four of the wardenesses who died had already given their Dionach’s their summons, so those males were not affected. But the remaining eight of us were . . . dismissed.”

“What happened?” I quietly asked.

“The unthinkable.” His wings tightened behind him, his gaze turning dark, churning with something like regret and hurt. “After we were cast out, the eight of us formed a small hideout on the far side of the isles. Our plan was to figure out where to go from there, but morale was low. We took turns hunting for meals, and trading here in the fae realm—on rare occasions. I had gone spearfishing along the coast one day, and when I returned, the hideout was empty. I searched the coast for hours until I finally found the others. Six of them, all bound in irons and speared through their hearts . . . in a cage that had sunk beneath the raging sea.”

My eyes widened in disbelief.

“We are forbidden from taking our own life, for it is our purpose to die at the hands of another, while protecting the one that we are meant to. And it’s damn near impossible to kill one of us without the proper means. So one of them had to have been chosen to do it, and . . . whoever did . . . I imagine it was the most difficult and painful thing they ever had to do.”

As the weight of his revelation settled, my eyes lined with tears, and I tried, but couldn’t find any words to offer.

“There was one whom I did not find. I assume he was the unlucky one who was chosen to deal the death blows at the request of the others. To this day, I have no idea if he still lives, but what bothers me the most, is that I do not know why I was not made aware of their plans. We had discussed that course of action once before, but it was to be a last resort. When I found their bodies . . .” He paused. “I knew I was stuck in this existence, and would always long for a purpose that I’d never know.”

I felt that statement so deep in my soul that my lips quivered, and a sob escaped me.

He turned toward me and raised a finger to wipe away the tear that slid down my cheek, his voice softening as he asked, “Why are you crying?”

“Because I don’t like hearing that you would even consider such an action.” I held his gray-eyed stare and watched his expression crinkle, as if my concern touched his soul. “And my heart hurts for you. I understand the struggle to find purpose. When I lost my parents, I had no one left to guide me. I knew I was meant for more, but I didn’t know what that was. I never want anyone else to ever feel that way. I never want anyone else to have to find their way on their own, or wonder what if. Or worse yet, lose hope all together.”

Remic sighed and lifted my chin with his finger. “Auren, you have given me hope.”

I fought back another sob. “How?”

“I may not have had a wardeness to tell me who my Dionam was supposed to be, but I’d like to think that it is you who I am meant to protect. That you are the reason I was spared from that plot of death. You’ve given me something to truly live for.”

More tears streamed down my face, and he pulled me into him, cradling my head against his chest.

“I had gone my entire existence thinking there was no point to it,” he said. “Now, I look back and see that I might be meant for something after all.”

I wasn’t expecting this conversation. Nor was I expecting to realize how much Remic and I needed each other. Apart from Niall, he grounded me in a way that no one else could, and reminded me that there was meaning to life and all that we are fighting for. That I wasn’t alone in my struggles. None of us were.

And I gave him purpose. I filled that hole in his heart, and brought him peace in knowing it wasn’t all for nothing.