Page 50 of The Edge of Darkness

When I found her again at the edge of the dance floor, sampling fruits and sweet breads, the thrumming in my chest returned—a sure sign that she was more to me than I could fathom at the time.

I missed that thrumming the moment I left her. And when she spoke of feeling the same strange sensation in her chest after our heated moment at Firefall, I knew what it meant. It confirmed everything that I thought couldn’t even be possible.

She was human and I was fae. But somehow, we were mates.

And thank the fucking gods for giving me her.

For years I had struggled with myself, at war within my own consciousness about my morals, my past, and my future. Auren was the only one who could render the enemy in my head silent. She was the calm to my storm. But ever since Ramil invaded my mind with his poison and tricks, something was off. I’d built walls to keep the pain and the memories and the fear of what courses through my veins locked away. Whatever the bastard had done had weakened those defenses. And since then, I found myself unable to suppress all those thoughts and feelings as easily as before.

Something changed within me in that dungeon cell.

There had always been something stirring deep inside me. I’d tucked it away beneath layers upon layers of thick, heavy denial, smothered with a healthy dose of moral dignity, knowing that I was more than what I felt slinking around the core of my soul. Whatever it was, I had vowed to never let it have control, because judging by the way it felt, I wasn’t sure if I could trust it.

My heart was good—that much I was sure of. But that sliver of shadow, that darkness that always hung too close to my soul, like it was waiting for a weak spot to open up . . . that’s what bothered me the most. My shadowfire was a form of darkness, but this other thing . . . it felt more pure, more potent. Like it could consume. It fed off my fears and the suffering I had witnessed.

The coals of that darkness had once burned so low that the embers were barely surviving. But now, new kindling had been added. The hallucinations that Ramil’s poison had induced had somehow awoken it. Just in the past few hours, there were moments where it stirred again, showing its face. And the well of power within me was starting to get . . . curious.

Auren had glimpsed the darkness before—in my eyes. I knew she had. It tended to rear its head a bit more than usual when my emotions ran high. But then she’d called to it, telling me she craved it, and gods it was so hard to hold it back each time she said those words.

Before, the darkness was a thing I had learned to harness and control.

Now, it had been poked and prodded, and it chomped at the bit like a caged animal desperate for release.

Before, Auren had spoken as if it were a side of me she wanted to see beneath the sheets, which furthered my desire.

Now, when she spoke of it, the darkness swelled and answered.

My body wasn’t my own when she spoke the words a few minutes ago. I wanted to devour her, but so did that darkness. Not in a deadly way, but in a way that would lay claim to her and her power. And I didn’t like that feeling. Not one fucking bit.

Beside me, my mate hummed with satisfaction, drawing me out of my thoughts. She turned to bury her head between my shoulder and chest, and I gladly welcomed the contact.

“That was . . .” She paused, tracing idle circles just underneath my collarbone. “Intense.”

“Did I hurt you?”

“No. I loved it, actually.”

I grinned. “Did you now?”

She blushed in that adorable way she always did whenever I did or said something inappropriate. “I like when you take control like that.”

“Mmm, I’ll commit that to memory.” I let out a long sigh and stared up at the ceiling.

“Niall?” she asked. “Are you all right?”

I shifted to look down at her. “Of course. Why?”

“It’s just that, ever since we got you out, you seem . . . different. I can tell that something’s bothering you.”

Shit.

I didn’t want her to worry about me—to bear that burden. “The things that I’m working out in my own mind are things you should never worry about, love.”

“But I’m your mate. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

I didn’t reply for a long moment.

I’d never had anyone that I could talk freely to about anything other than court duties and bullshit. My struggles had always been my own. But Auren was right. I couldn’t just shut her out and keep this all locked up inside.