Page 329 of The Edge of Darkness

For a moment, I focused on its essence, noting how the iridescence was careful to keep just enough distance from me. There was a sense of hesitation, perhaps apprehension.

Was it . . . afraid?

Maybe it was. Maybe after all this time being locked away, it had forgotten what it was like to be on its own, and it was masking its fear by making me think releasing it into the world was the wrong course of action. If it truly was content with its vessel, as I’d suspected before, then there was a bigger issue at hand.

How could a conscious entity bear to be locked away like this? Just within these mere minutes that I had been trapped within it, I knew I would never want to be confined inside something for any length of time.

I chose my words carefully as I answered. I do not care to know the secrets of the world, or the whispers of my enemies. I find no pleasure in it. I have lived with the ability, yes, but it is not mine to keep, nor do I desire to take from you.

Ah, a mortal who does not seek power for himself. And yet, he will have it. Its words set my nerves on edge. A strong mind, and a strong spirit. Why not keep everything you have and reap the glory?

It’s not about glory! There was a snap to my voice that I couldn’t help. I just want . . . The words caught in my throat as emotion threatened to bubble up again.

This time, I watched the Aether go taut before my eyes. We were still connected, and it strained just as much as I did.

Tell me what you feel, it urged.

I can’t feel anything!

The colors pulsed against the darkness, rippling through me.

I want to be able to feel again! Don’t you understand? There is a life I have been deprived of, a female that I⁠—

What was I doing? This entity didn’t care what I longed for. If it did, it wouldn’t be putting up a fight. You don’t want to leave, I thought. It was a grim realization that was only solidified by the Aether’s silence. Why kill the other host who tried to release you? Why not just stay locked away within them if you were so content?

Finally, it answered. She became boastful and wanted more than she was given. She wanted to relinquish the force, but keep the all-seeing eye that my power offers. Greed taints the heart and soul and mind—it makes the vessel weak. And I refuse to be tethered to such a vessel.

So, it killed her and moved on to the next, waiting to find the one who would bend but not break.

And here I am, ready and willing to relinquish everything, and yet you will not accept?

Perhaps I have found comfort in our bond, it tried to reason.

The statement struck me. It angered me. How can you find comfort in limiting someone’s life? Why take someone’s emotions? Why dampen their memories? What do you have to gain from that?

Emotions make you weak, it answered. Memories are just a key back to the very moments where one feels the greatest, or the worst, or some strange state of in-between. Don’t you see how they are connected? You cannot have one without the other.

So, you think strength comes from someone who does not feel—who has no trauma or triumphs? That is not strength. That is misery.

The tension between us was palpable, unsteady. Whatever was holding us together was beginning to burn inside me as I fought to convey my thoughts while living out the very thing I was complaining against. My eyes stung as I pushed through the pain.

I have not been able to experience a true emotion, or laugh, or cry, or love, or even hate, because of you, and it is killing me!

Silence.

You are killing me, I admitted.

The words were my victory and my defeat all in one.

In the eerie quiet, something deep within me splintered.

Then . . .

I have become . . . a burden?

Could it really not tell? Did it truly not know what it had done to my life?

It seemed to shrink, as if it had a shell it could retreat into, unlike me, who had to leave everything out on a silver platter for the taking. I fought back the urge to say as much, and remembered what the end goal was.