Page 131 of The Edge of Darkness

My Aura pulsed, snipping my words short as it unfurled along my skin and rippled in iridescent waves that sent Maeson jolting back. A stinging pain spread throughout my chest, and a faint buzzing began in my ears as the sound of too many voices swirled into my consciousness.

I went rigid, biting back the overwhelm and fisting my hands at my sides, trying to quiet the chaos within as the Aether clawed its way forth.

All the while, Maeson watched.

“It’s all right,” I gritted out between clenched teeth. “Just give it a moment.”

“It’s not all right,” she said. “Is this what it’s like every time you . . .”

“Every time I let myself feel something too strongly? Yes.”

She shook her head in disbelief. “But I’ve never seen it act like this.”

“That’s because I’m constantly having to suppress it. There’s a reason why I do not openly talk about my feelings.” I mustered a strained grin, but it failed to settle her.

The pain in her eyes was as sharp as the blade she still held. I knew that if given the chance, she would flay the Aura from my body, piece by piece, and set fire to every shred of the foreign entity.

“This curse must be broken,” she said, straightening her shoulders. “I won’t let it do this to you.”

Resolve. She was full of it, just as I usually was. I wanted to agree, but I couldn’t help worrying about what, exactly, the Aether would take with it once it was free. Would I still be me? I didn’t know life without the Aura. It might be a hindrance most of the time, but it was also a gift in many ways. What would I be without it? Would there even be any sort of power left in me at all? Or would I be as good as a human at that point?

“And what if it takes away everything in the end? What happens if we succeed, but I’m left a shell of myself?”

“That won’t happen.”

“How are you so sure?”

She hesitated. “The power of the mind is a potent thing. If you keep telling yourself that something isn’t possible, then you will never succeed. But if you tell yourself it will happen, and you believe it . . .”

“I want to believe it will work. Because I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t.”

She reached for me with her free hand, slipping her fingers into mine. I captured them in my grip and closed my eyes.

The chaos quieted once I managed to toss my mental net over it and smother the noise. “You’re a healer. What have you seen from those who suffer from chaos in their mind?”

“The chaos they deal with isn’t the same as yours. They are plagued with images of war and death, things that won’t allow them to function in normal society without having a breakdown. A lot of times, they get bothered by certain noises or sounds.”

“It’s similar enough,” I admitted. “I’ve just had my entire life to practice dealing with it.”

“You suppress it, which can oftentimes make it worse.”

“I suppress a lot of things.”

“But you shouldn’t have to.” Her gaze fell to a spot in the center of my chest, like she could see the power within me, and how it had a chokehold around my heart. “You should be able to feel, freely. To declare your emotions, and embrace them.”

I lifted her chin with my finger. “Maeson, there are things that I want to feel, things that I want to tell you. But when I let my guard down, the Aether becomes overwhelming, and I can’t⁠—”

“It’s okay.” Her eyes held mine, as if reading what was written in my soul. “You don’t have to say it.” She glanced down at our intertwined hands. “This tells me everything I need to know.”

I was trying, and she knew it. There was only so much I could do. Still, the thought that she was getting less than she deserved gnawed at the back of my mind.

In time, I told myself.

I leaned forward until my forehead rested against hers, ignoring the way the Aether began to prowl against my consciousness again.

“Aremis,” she said quietly, “just so you know, I don’t think the gods and the fates would place a burden like this on your shoulders for you to be left with nothing in the end.”

Her words, the hope in them, they soothed every doubt and eased my thoughts.