Page 38 of Somnium

People began shuffling forward to fill in the small area in front of the stage as Spikey-Hair slipped a colorful woven guitar strap over his head and turned to address the growing throng. “Alright, Crow’s Nest, how we doin’ tonight?”

The crowd around Cadi cheered, and next to her, Elias let out an enthusiastic whoop, cupping his hands around his mouth to carry the sound above the revelry. She couldn’t help the smile that curved her lips at the sight of him so relaxed and at ease, and she found herself craving more of it.

“We’re The Casualties,” Spikey-Hair continued, pulling Cadi back. “What do y’all say we get this started?”

Another roar erupted as the band began playing an upbeat song with a heavy bassline that reverberated through her. Sera set her drink down and reached forward to grab Elias’s hand with a look of satisfied triumph.

“If you insist on existing this close to me tonight, you have to make yourself useful,” she yelled, tugging him toward the area in front of the stage, which had quickly become the unofficial dance floor. He groaned, tipping his head back in a show of melodrama that sent Cadi into a fit of laughter as he was led away to his fate.

She settled back in her chair and sipped her drink, savoring the smooth burn of the bourbon as it traced a path down her throat. A pleasant warmth spread through her body as she watched her two friends, and she knew it had nothing to do with the alcohol. But beneath the joy and contentment, an unwelcome feeling began edging its way to the surface, refusing to be ignored a moment longer.

Elias tipped Sera back into a playful dip, his wide smile radiating pure happiness in a way that made Cadi feel like someone was squeezing her ribcage. Like a latch clicking into place, she began to understand that this was more than joy at finding friendships that made her feel valued instead of drained, more than just her body relaxing into safety after the stress of the past week. This was the ache of seeing that smile on his face and realizing that she wanted to be the one he gave it to.

She swallowed hard. This was not good.

A few weeks ago, he had been Sera’s friend and boss. Her hot and intriguing boss, sure, but nothing more. Now, Cadi couldn’t stop her eyes from tracing the sharp cut of his jaw to where it disappeared beneath his ear, recalling the intoxicating warmth that had pressed into her when he rested his arm against her chair, the smell of his skin and the way it made her think of a sun-warmed forest in the middle of summer.

Fuck.

The polished surface of the table bit into her elbows as she leaned forward, digging her fingers into her eyes in an attempt to drive out the thoughts that were relentlessly multiplying in her mind. She was on dangerous ground, and unnervingly close to letting something like hope take root. If life had taught her anything it was that things like this never ended well.

Painful memories of what she had thought were promising relationships flashed through her mind, but inevitably they all ended the same. They got bored, chose someone else, changed their mind. One guy in college had almost convinced her that things could be different, but those dreams had been sufficiently crushed when he suddenly just stopped talking to her after she had made the mistake of suggesting they go on a date somewhere that wasn’t his bedroom.

She wasn’t interested in experiencing that again because of a stupid crush. Besides, someone like Sera was a far better match for Elias. They’d known each other for years, had similar lifestyles, schedules, interests. What hope did Cadi have of competing with the effortless chemistry that came with years of history? She was just … her.

A low groan rumbled from her chest, the sound of frustration swallowed whole by the earsplitting music that poured from the stage. The air in the bar felt far too close, as if the heavy blend of beer, breath, and body heat was determined to overpower every last molecule of oxygen before Cadi could draw it into her lungs. Leaning back against the metal chair, she let her eyes flutter open and instantly found her gaze locked with Elias’s, his questioning stare holding her in place from across the dance floor.

Forcing a smile, knowing full well it didn’t come anywhere close to reaching her eyes, Cadi slipped from her seat and lifted a single finger to indicate she just needed a minute. Then, she spun on her heels and slipped back into the crowd toward the door.

A cool evening breeze played through her curls, sending them dancing across her shoulders as she stepped out onto the sidewalk. She pulled in a deep breath and hoped that the tangy mix of brine and tar would eventually clear her head of the reckless thoughts still trying to snake their way in.

With everyone determined to squeeze themselves into the packed bar, the street in front of The Crow’s Nest was mercifully devoid of patrons, meaning there was no one around to pass judgement when Cadi slumped against the wall and tipped her head back onto the bricks. Heat from the day’s sun still lingered in the porous stone, soaking through her hair to warm her scalp.

“Get it together, Kismet,” she muttered to herself, “you barely know the man.”

All she had to do was find something about him that was repellant enough to negate her silly schoolgirl crush. There had to be something. There was always something. She searched her mind, trying to find anything that might turn her off from the idea of Elias, but it seemed that every quality she chose only served to turn her on.

If she thought about the way he chewed, it made her think about how his neck muscles flexed with the motion. Trying to find something negative in the way he sat only reminded her of how hot he looked sitting in front of her on the coffee table, leaning forward as he tended to her wound, his mouth just a breath away from⁠—

This wasn’t working.

She squeezed her eyes shut, banishing the memory and beginning to bounce her head against the wall in a steady rhythm. Pain lanced through her skull when it connected with the stone much harder than she intended, her growing frustration causing her to drastically underestimate her force. Hissing through her teeth at the lingering throb, she pressed her hand to the back of her head to make sure the impact hadn’t been enough to draw blood. That would really round out the evening.

“I didn’t think the band was that bad.”

Cadi jumped at the unexpected voice, a strange fluttering feeling pulling in her chest as her head snapped toward the sound to see Elias walking toward her, slowing his steps to lean a shoulder against the wall. In her futile attempt to convince her mind and body that she didn’t want him, she hadn’t even heard him come out of the bar. Now, here he was, staring down at her with a look that lived somewhere between concern and amusement.

She blew a breath down her nose, lifting a single shoulder in a play of nonchalance. “I just needed some air. Clear my head a bit.”

Elias lifted an eyebrow. “By giving yourself another concussion?”

Cadi laughed, hating the way the sound came out much higher and louder than she’d intended, its intensity nowhere close to proportional to the quality of the comment.

“What can I say, it’s been an intense week. I needed something a little stronger than booze.”

Elias smirked. “That’s right, Sera told me you made the switch to the dark side. How does it feel?”

Cadi shifted, resting her shoulder against the wall to face him. She lifted her gaze and knew instantly that it was a mistake as her entire body tried to turn to jelly beneath the warm chocolate brown staring back at her.