Page 20 of Somnium

The heels of her hands dug into her eyes, pressing hard against the burn of tears that threatened to cut loose. She was so close to home, to putting this whole trainwreck of an evening behind her, and she had somehow managed to lose the one thing she couldn’t afford to. Her phone could be replaced, credit cards could be canceled, but that necklace gave its bearer access to almost every part of the temple. If she didn’t get it back … well, that just wasn’t an option.

Shifting to her hands and knees, she gathered up the discarded contents of her bag and stood, turning on numb legs to begin her trek back the way she had come.

She searched every inch of the stations that made up her route, cringing as she lowered herself to the ground to sift through trash, dragging her palms across grimy surfaces to look under benches, tables, and vending machines. Her stomach twisted into an acidic knot that grew tighter with every stop that turned up nothing. She darted off the train at the station where she made her first connection, the station where her bag had been caught, and prayed to any gods that were still listening that her necklace would be there.

Dropping to her knees again, she ignored the pain that exploded in her kneecaps as they collided with the unforgiving tile. As she ducked under the first bench to begin her fevered search, her hair stuck to the side of her face, soaked with sweat and caked with grime from each fruitless attempt to swipe it away, her hands leaving a black residue in their wake.

It had to be here. It just had to be. There was no other reality that she would accept. Crawling to the next bench, she didn’t even bother to stand, barely registering the feet and hooves brushing by her as a train emptied its late-night riders onto the platform.

“What are you doing?”

Cadi jumped, letting out a string of colorful curses when the back of her head slammed into the underside of a bench. Sitting back on her heels, she tenderly massaged the spot, noting that a decent-sized goose egg was already beginning to form. Just what she needed to round out the night—a minor brain bleed.

Her eyes flicked to the space behind the bench, where she found Elias Masterson watching her, his face twisted in confusion. Cadi let out a tight sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. This was just what she needed, for him to bear witness to her slow descent into madness and report back to Sera that she couldn’t even be trusted with something as simple as not losing a stupid necklace.

Pressing her hands into the cold stone of the bench, she pushed herself up and forced a casual smile to her face. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

Elias raised a single eyebrow as he scanned her, no doubt taking note of the black smudges marring her face and clothing, the way her hair stuck to her cheek, and the frantic look in her eyes that betrayed her panic. But she kept smiling, knowing full well that it likely only served to make her look as though she were teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown. Which, if she was being honest, may not have been that far off.

“You sure?” he asked, the tone of his voice soft and gentle, as if he was concerned she might be spooked by any sudden sounds or movements.

Cadi chewed her lower lip as her shoulders slumped forward in resignation. “No. I mean, yes, I just—I lost something, but I’m handling it, and no offense, but I don’t really have time to chat right now.”

Turning away from him, she began scanning the ground again, cutting a path to the next bench and ducking down to peer beneath it, annoyance beginning to creep over her skin when Elias’s voice followed her.

“What did you lose?”

Cadi scoffed, her eyes flicking to his briefly before refocusing on her mission. She could only imagine the reaction she would get from him, the person who hated the Order most out of anyone in the entire city, if she were to share that she had lost a necklace containing their sigil.

“Look, this really isn’t your problem, okay? I have it handled,” she said. Her words were confident, but it felt borrowed, false. The entire situation was anything but handled, though she refused to tell him otherwise. She could see his feet shifting on the other side of the bench from where she was crouched beneath it, scanning its disgusting underside and preparing herself to begin sifting through the piles of discarded trash when he spoke again.

“If you tell me what it is, maybe I can help you.”

His offer was cautious and genuine, yet Cadi felt a familiar wall slam into place. She was exhausted, and after what she had just put up with from Damon, she didn’t have the strength to fight it. “I don’t need help, I just need to be left alone. Please.”

Sitting back on her heels, her eyes met his with a silent plea for his to just let it go, to walk away. He studied her for a moment, and her muscles tightened when his mouth opened as if he were about to argue or offer his services again. But instead, he took a small step back, giving her the space she so desperately needed.

“Okay,” he said quietly, his eyes lingering on her for a breath longer before he turned toward the staircase that led out of the station and into the night. Cadi watched him go, waiting until she could no longer see him on the stairs before she slumped against the bench and let herself cry.

Cadi woke with a start, her mind still hazy with sleep. She looked around her room, searching for whatever it was that yanked her so violently from her dreams, but only found an empty room bathed in early morning light. Checking her phone, she groaned, flopping back against her pillow when she realized she had only just managed to fall asleep two hours ago.

After her run-in with Elias, Cadi rode the train all the way back to Temple Station, even going so far as to climb the steps of the temple itself in her search, despite knowing she’d had her necklace when she boarded the train. A heaviness had crashed over her then, seeping down to her bones; she had failed to retrieve her sigil, and would now have to face the consequences.

A knock at her door had her sitting up again. She hesitated, unsure of whether she should answer. Good news rarely came so early, and with the way her luck was going, she didn’t know if she should risk it. She slipped from her bed and crept softly into the living room, careful to avoid the more vocal floorboards.

“Arcadia? I’m so sorry to bother you this early but I have something for you.”

Cadi let out a breath, her anxiety instantly dissolving at her neighbor’s warm voice. The locks gave way with a metallic click, and Cadi cracked open the door to find a middle-aged woman with salt and pepper hair standing in the hallway, a kind smile on her face as she handed her a long white envelope.

“I was coming back from my morning walk and a gentleman asked me if you lived here, said he needed to give you something. Well, I wasn’t about to let a strange man into the building, so I told him I’d make sure you got it.”

Cadi took the envelope, surprised at its weight. “Thank you.”

Her neighbor gave a small nod before turning to step back into her own unit.

“Wait, actually,” Cadi said, stopping the woman before she could close her door. “The man who gave you this. What did he look like?”

Her neighbor shrugged. “I’m not good with faces, dear, but I can tell you he was very tall and very polite,” the woman paused, a smile tugging her lips. “There are worse things in this life, you know.” Then, she gave Cadi a wink and eased the door closed, leaving her alone in the hall.