Page 121 of Somnium

His gaze drifted to the water, like he was suddenly reluctant to meet Cadi’s stare. A cold fist tightened around her gut. He wasn’t telling her everything.

“You don’t agree?”

He shook his head, picking at a loose splinter.

“It just doesn’t feel right,” he said, voice barely audible above the surf. “These sigils that you find in his office lining up perfectly with what we need? There’s another layer, something we’re missing, and after what happened, I⁠—”

His voice broke, and with it, Cadi felt a piece of herself break, too.

“I don’t know if I can be a part of this anymore,” he whispered.

Cadi straightened, her face twisted in disbelief. There was no way she had heard him right. After everything they’d already been through, and knowing what Oneirios was doing to their friends, to him …

“We can’t stop, Elias,” she said, leaning in to catch his gaze. “I’m done living in the shadows just because it’s safe. Other than my parents, I never had people in my life worth going through the hard shit for … but now I do. And I won’t be the person who hides anymore. Sera needs us. You need us. We can’t just disappear because we’re scared.”

Elias’s eyes raced over her face, his lips parting as if he may argue or try to convince her they didn’t need to take the risk, that they would find another way. But he didn’t say anything. He just turned to face the water again and rested his forearms against the salt-stained wood.

For a moment, the crashing of waves against the pylons below was the only sound between them. Cadi settled in next to him, letting the breeze dance through her curls, unsure of what she could possibly say that might offer him even the smallest bit of peace. She felt him shift beside her, and his growing strain captured her attention before he spoke.

“Do you remember when I told you my biggest fear?” he asked.

Cadi nodded, swallowing against the dryness that coated her tongue. She would never forget that night in his apartment with his arms around her as he held her close to the warmth and safety of his body. A time before she had any knowledge of the gods and their plans. Before everything changed.

“You said it was being forgotten,” she murmured, “that nothing you do will actually matter.”

“Yeah. It was.” His voice was quiet. “But now, it …”

The smallest crack of his voice echoed on the air, cutting off his words before he could finish.

“Now it’s what?” she asked.

He didn’t answer right away. His thumb brushed his ring, as if weighing what the confession might cost him. Then, he pulled in a shaky breath and turned to face her. “Having to learn how to live without you.”

Cadi froze, his words hanging heavy in the air between them.

“For a while I thought I was going to have to,” he continued, “I know I’m not strong enough to do it again.”

She didn’t know what to say. There was no response she could offer that would fully silence the fear behind his words. So she stayed quiet. Stayed with him. And let the stillness speak for her.

The world beyond the pier drifted by without them until Elias let his head dip toward his watch. He hissed a breath and pushed off the banister, bringing their time alone to a screeching halt.

“It’s getting late,” he said, “I should get you back.”

He smiled down at her, though the torment in his eyes lingered. Cadi just nodded, and let him guide her down the pier in a silent agreement to leave the conversation behind them.

The air seemed to hum as they walked, the lights of the festival growing brighter with every step. Cadi let her hand swing loosely at her side, and the sparks that flared each time Elias’s skin brushed against hers pulled a soft grin across her lips. He would wait forever; the rest was up to her.

Before she could overthink it, she reached out and placed her hand in his. His fingers closed around hers instantly, and the smallest hint of a smile played at his mouth as they slipped back into the crowd toward the glowing archway in the distance.

As they passed the midway, Elias pulled her to a stop.

“I’ll be right back,” he said. That was the only warning he gave before he stepped away with a determined stride.

Adrenaline speared into Cadi’s veins when she saw that his gaze was locked on a booth with a very familiar-looking teenager seated behind the counter. She darted through the crowd, forced to weave around the other patrons in a desperate attempt to catch up to him. Damn him and his long legs.

“What are you doing?” she asked when she finally managed to catch up, though she already suspected she wasn’t going to like the answer.

Elias’s jaw was set and his eyes were sharp with purpose. “You want that bear. So I’m getting you the bear.”