Page 55 of The Logic of Loyalty

Trevor scrambles to his feet. “Is he okay? Is he hurt?” He’s already looking past me into the house, so I move to the side to let him pass.

“He’s not okay, but he’s not hurt, physically.” I follow him up the steps in time to see him standing at the door watching.

“You hear me, right?” Bethany’s voice is gentle and coaxing. “You are an angel, a blessing to our family. I-I am so happy you came into our lives. You have only been a beautiful addition to my family. Do you understand me?”

I slide in next to Trevor so I can see what’s happening beyond more easily.

Jacob blinks slowly once, but then nods in answer. “I will always love having you around, and I will make sure I do what I can to keep it a safe place for you to be, okay?”

“Yes,” he whispers. “I love you, Aunt Beth. You’re special too. You know that, right?”

Her responding smile is small—a faded version of the one she was wearing only a moment before. “Yeah. I know it.”

“You need me, bud?” Trevor steps into the room, his voice suspiciously gruff.

“Dad?” Jacob’s voice breaks again, and Trevor is there in an instant, gathering him into his arms, making our boy look like the child he still is. Sobs overtake him, and Trevor’s eyes reflect the sadness we hear pouring out of him.

“Shh. I’m here now. I have you. I’m here. I’ll always be here for you. I swear it. Shh.”

Bethany passes me in the doorway. “I’m going to go. Maybe let you two talk it out or give your family some privacy.”

“You’re our family, too, you know.”

Bethany doesn’t answer, but I hear the front door shut behind her.

Jacob falls asleep a few minutes after Bethany leaves. Trevor is staying with him for a few minutes to make sure he’s out, then he wants to talk. Whatever that means. I haven’t had time to wrap my head around anything, but I agreed.

I put away the food I prepped earlier, snacking on most of it the entire time, when steps alert me to Trevor’s presence.

I tense then relax when I see him lean against the counter across from me. “I think we need to talk.”

“I think you’ve talked plenty, Trevor.” His voice is infuriatingly calm, and I’m shocked by how angry I am.

“I know. I know I have. I want to clear this week’s schedule with you. I know you don’t want to speak to me much right now, but I don’t know if you want to talk to Jacob about everything with all of”—he motions around us—“this going on, do you? About why I’m gone?” Jacob’s face when he saw his dad walk into his room made the answer to that question nearly impossible to answer.

“I can’t sleep in that bed with you, Trevor.”

“Did you not read my—okay. Well, I thought I could wake up early and stay late to make sure I’m here whenever he expects me to be. I’ll be sure to go back to where I’m staying⁠—”

“Billy’s.”

“Yeah. Billy’s. That way, we don’t need to have any tough conversations until we know. Until you are ready to decide how you want to proceed with … things.” I start on the dishes to keep my hands busy to avoid looking at his stupid face. “It’s up to you, Paige.”

I drop the cup I’m washing, and it shatters in the sink.

“Shit, honey.”

“Stop.”

He freezes, his hand outstretched toward me.

“Is it, Trevor? Is it up to me?”

“Well, yeah—” His fingers curl into a fist, and he lowers his hand. I remain facing the sink.

“Then why were you on the front porch only hours after I told you to get out? After I told you I didn’t want to see you? Why are you here now, talking to me, pushing this when I told you that I do not want to talk to you? It’s one thing to discuss our child, but I feel like you’re pushing the line, and I do not appreciate it.”

He’s silent long enough that I think maybe he left me.” I swear to you, I wasn’t here to talk when I was on the porch earlier. I was coming in to get some things, and I don’t have a phone, but⁠—”