Page 35 of The Logic of Loyalty

I need to call Bethany and see if their Aunty date can extend into an Aunty sleepover so Jacob doesn’t come home to see that his father did not make it back, and that his mother cannot exist as anything beyond a ghost. Just for tonight. Because tomorrow—well, tomorrow, I need to be Mom again.

“We have a lot of choices coming our way.” I step away from him, moving in the direction of the house, and listen as he scrambles behind me. “There is nothing you can say or do that is going to make me want to change my mind, so I need you to just go.” He walks in front of me, and my body freezes before we make contact. “I cannot fathom spending another moment in your space, so for my sake and for the sake of the baby growing in my belly, get the fuck out of my face.” He trips at the venom in my tone, but I don’t let up. A dark part of me wants him to hurt, and I hate that I feel this way.

“You need to go. Do not contact me. I will contact you. Now, please leave, because that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

I sidestep him and leave him standing there—the remnants of my dinner a souvenir of his mistakes.

Chapter Thirteen

TREVOR

“My God, you are truly a giant fucking idiot.”

My car is parked haphazardly at the front of The Shop—or now it’s Billy’s Auto or something … whatever. I wandered to the office to see if Billy was in because we need to have some words. Unfortunately, his sorry excuse for a brother was talking to some chick in there, so I swerved away from that mess and headed out the back door instead. I took a right, jogged up the steps, and knocked on Billy’s bachelor pad’s door. He tends to stay here when his ex has the kids, so it is no surprise when he opens the door almost immediately. His affectionate greeting while I stand wearing my wife’s vomit is also not a surprise.

But it still pisses me off.

“Hello to you, too, asshole.” I’m super glad I came to him while I feel like the world has turned its back on me, since my world literally just did.

Billy responds with a grunt before backing away from the door, holding his arm out in mock welcome. Frustrated and out of sorts, I slam into his shoulder as I walk past. Miscalculation. The guy is a mammoth, so I end up losing my balance and looking stupid instead of delivering a solid shoulder check.

It takes two stumbling steps through the door to gain my balance, and I end up in the center of the apartment. I haven’t been here in ages, so I twist around to briefly take in the space. I spy a couple of folding chairs he has set up in a makeshift dining room, so I head over there and settle into one of the seats. Once I sit back, I continue my perusal and marvel at the dark, clean, and claustrophobic space. Everything is edged with seventies-style wood paneling, likely original from when his parents or grandparents owned The Shop. Only one window exists in the small galley kitchen, but it’s flanked by dark eighties or nineties curtains that block what little light there is. To be fair, it’s also already nearly dark outside.

I didn’t follow Paige to the house, but I did drive by a few times to make sure the lights were on. Her car wasn’t there, which was strange as hell—another reason I stopped by Billy’s place. He knows something I don’t.

I rest my forearms on my thighs and freeze. The smell hits me first, but then the memories of this evening flatten me like a fucking Mack truck.

Why didn’t I tell her immediately? Why did I wait? What was I waiting for?

The scrape of a chair being dragged across the floor pulls my attention to where Billy grunts and sits. He dwarfs the space.

“Tell me.” He says it simply. Straightforward.

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb, Trevor. You fucked up, but there’s gotta be a reason that woman was in my truck and not in your car this evening, or you’re not the man I thought you were for the lifetime I’ve known you.”

The reminder sets my mind racing again. My fists clench as I conjure the image of one of my best friends cradling the face of my wife. My whole being vibrates with unspent adrenaline from the last thirty-six hours, and his superior bullshit is not helping anything.

“Don’t you dare.” He growls from his seat, but I ignore the warning.

“Why don’t you tell me the answer to that, you asshole?” Andre the Giant rolls his eyes at me, but then he answers my question with a question.

“Why did you show up with that cheap version of your wife tonight?” He takes a deep breath to continue, then makes a face. He leans over to take in my appearance and fucking smirks before getting up and disappearing into his room without finishing his thought. A pair of pants flies at my face when he appears again. “Change before you make me vomit. Leave the dirty clothes on the porch.”

Grateful, but still annoyed, I stand with the pants in hand and squeeze past him into the small bathroom. The old light flickers with a dull glow, revealing more vintage detailing. I take up most of the space standing here, bumping into things as I take off my smelly clothes. Trying to change is a chore in itself. It reminds me of the first apartment Paige and I got—the thought stops me cold.

“I cannot fathom spending another moment in your space, so for my sake and for the sake of the baby growing in my belly, get the fuck out of my face.”

My breath gets caught in my throat, and I’m choking on the air in my chest. For a moment, I’m suspended in time. Her voice echoes in my mind, and it’s crushing me. My body feels disconnected from reality, and my vision blurs along the edges.

A piercing whistle breaks my trance, and I gasp on an inhale. I’m hunched over, my hands bracing me along either side of the small pedestal sink, wearing nothing but my boxers. My shoulders heave with the gulps of oxygen I somehow forgot how to inhale.

Billy moves around the other room—the thud of a cabinet and clinking of glass barely muffled by the closed door. I take another minute before raising my head to consider the man in the reflection.

Still looks the same.

I drop my gaze immediately when my attention catches on my ring. It has remained on my finger without fail since the moment I put it on nearly a decade ago.