Page 102 of The Logic of Loyalty

Now I really don’t want to go into his house.

“Why?”

He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “Let’s go sit down and talk in the living room.”

“Is Cass⁠—”

“He’s with Carri.”

What the heck? I wrinkle my nose at the unexpected news, completely unsure how to feel. On one hand, I’m thrilled for that little boy to get to be with his mother. On the other, I’m worried about him being with a woman who abandoned him so thoroughly at such a young age. But they’re the parents, and I know that Josh loves his son. I follow Josh into the house and into the same living room I’ve been in countless times over the last few months. A discomfort I haven’t felt before settles over me. He sits on the loveseat, and I take the chair across from him, crossing my arms in front of me. “With Carri …”

“Yes.” His voice holds no ounce of give.

“Okay.”

Josh releases a deep sigh, his leg bouncing as he stares at his steepled fingers.

“You remember how I said I knew you? In high school?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Well, I”—ahem—“I had a crush on you. A huge crush. Unsent notes, plans to ask you to prom, though you were so much older. That whole thing.”

“Oh.” He’s right. Embarrassment rolls through me. This was not what I was expecting.

“Ha, yeah. Oh. When I had to move, I was sad, but I got over it. It wasn’t too long afterward that I met Carri, who is practically your opposite.” The tall, slender, dark-haired, grey-eyed, arctic beauty is absolutely my opposite. “Well, I was still enamored with you, at that point, and so I kind of dismissed her at first, even though we kept getting paired and partnered in everything.” His entire face is on fire, making the undeniable blush on my face more palatable. “I had a friend then. He knew about you. This part is important.” He glances at me, then stares at his hands once again. “Years passed, and I forgot all about you and fell madly in love with my sweet Caroline.” He leans back and grabs a hold of his hair. “We moved back here when she got pregnant because the school here is far better than at Edgewood.” I nod because it was something Trevor and I discussed too. “Then, we started the process of finding you—or a nanny. I saw your name and had a feeling it was you, but all Carri saw were your stats. You are an impressive nanny with great certifications and fantastic reviews and recommendations.”

I duck my head. I needed to work, so I gave it my all. “Thank you.” I worry about the direction this conversation is going, and I hate it.

“She told me she already wanted you. When we interviewed you, I realized you didn’t recognize me, so I let it go. Carri knew of my high school crush, but P. Whitaker was not the same person.”

“Oh, no.”

Josh rubs his hands back and forth on his lap and slaps them down once, hard. The loud clap makes me jump. “Sorry, but yes.”

“What did you do?”

“I-I can’t get too far into it without feeling like I’m damaging her trust more than I already have. All I will say is that you’re exceptional at your job, and Carri was a stressed-out new mom who found out her husband’s ’one who got away’ was now his nanny.” He finger quotes, avoiding looking up.

I recoil at his description, and he blows out a noisy breath. “Not actually the description I would use. It was a puppy crush. It was nothing to me.”

“It was something to her.”

“Yeah. It was something to her.”

“Damn, Josh … But that still doesn’t explain the rumors.”

“No, it doesn’t. And before you even start to think it, there is no way Carri would do this.” He cuts his hand through the air. “I think it was a nasty rumor that was spread through bored parents and hateful, jealous people.” His leg begins to bounce again, and he picks his phone up, checking the screen before laying it back down.

Or my husband’s coworkers. “And the reason you’re not having me come in anymore?”

“Carri has been taking him.”

“Why couldn’t you just tell me?”

“You’re a sore topic for her.”

Oh. “And it would have been another⁠—”