Page 42 of Medical Malpractice

She scoffed, not believing a word. “Is that what I am? You could have fooled me. The way you’ve been treating me like an afterthought.”

“You’ve never—”

“You deliberately made a conscious decision to keep this monumental secret from me, Leo. You. Lied.”

I zeroed in on that one word, the resonance in her voice highlighting it for what it was. I lied, and in doing so, had lost her trust.

I vigorously shook my head, trying to dispel the accusation, despite knowing it to be true. In dealing with my own demons, I’d selfishly failed to recognise Gabriella’s own trauma and triggers. And by failing to identify the signs, I’d subsequently added to them.

Fuck. What do I do?

Despite the hostile energy vibrating from her, I needed to be near my wife, as if the closer I was, the more she would be able to read my sincerity, sense my remorse.

I shifted around the couch so we were in direct alignment, but I didn’t dare cross to her. “I’m sorry, darling. I was in shock and overwhelmed by the news.” Gabriella huffed and rolled her eyes, which made me ask, “Tell me, how I was supposed to deal with it?”

“Well, let me tell you how not to deal with it. Probably every single fucking thing you did since you found out you had a son with another woman,” she snapped. Oh, she was seething, her gaze burning in the darkness, as if imagining me as a corpse.

“It’s been weeks since you found out, Leo. Weeks,” she said, the subtle touch of pain coating her voice, which in turn had my soul yearning to comfort hers.

“Is there a time limit on these things?” I asked. “I’ve been trying to make sense of it myself.” I risked a step forward and opened my palms—unthreatening, passive, imploring. “A colossal bomb was dropped into my lap, which imploded everything as I knew it. I wanted to wait for the paternity results, which only came in yesterday. I didn’t want to burden you with something that was unconfirmed or false—”

“You should have told me.”

“I’m ashamed to say I was scared and spiralled out of control, overthinking the worst possible scenarios, jumping to the worst conclusions.”

“And what are they, Leo? What are the worst-case scenarios in your perfect little world?”

“Losing you…”

Her emotional green eyes glistened like gems, so beautiful, so tortured. The sight made me sick with regret. I’m sorry, darling.

I tentatively approached and kneeled before her. Then I laid everything out in the open.

“I was conflicted, Ella,” I whispered. “I still am. I was told I had a son, which was surreal in itself… then the results came in, and I met him. And god, as soon as I laid eyes on him, I knew I’d never be able to give him up. But I also didn’t want to lose you, our girls and everything we have created together. My heart and mind have been splitting in two, fucking terrified that I can only have one or the other.”

Gabriella aggressively cut a hand through the air. “When have I ever given you that impression? That I would make you choose? If you knew me well enough, trusted me enough as your wife, you should have known that I would never hold that against you.”

“I didn’t know what to think or how to navigate anything. I’ve been a fucking mess, Ella.” I shook my head. “I didn’t know how to come to terms with instantly loving and wanting to protect this new child I never even knew existed, versus placing pain on the family I already know and love.”

Gabriella’s face twisted in turmoil, and I wanted to reach out, sweep her into my arms and soothe her. But I had lost that privilege.

“There was never a sacrifice to be made, Leo. If you believed in me enough to trust me, we could have navigated this together. Instead, you chose to ice me out. Chose to lie to me on a daily basis. Chose to meet your son without including us. Chose to tell their family about our daughters... Despite knowing my past and how important the truth is to me. You failed me. You failed our marriage.”

Her words and tone held a unique finality I’d never heard before, which sent panic racing through my veins. Nonononono.

“Please don’t say that,” I blurted, practically begging. Unable to resist any longer, I breached the distance and cradled her stiff, cold hands in mine, needing that contact, to have some form of connection with her.

“All I’ve ever wanted, ever dreamt, is to be yours, Gabriella. I’ve loved you for most of my life and will continue to for the rest of our days…” My voice was shaky, hoarse and dripping in desperation. I can’t lose you. “I know my actions have made you question all of that, and I could have handled this in so many different ways. I’ve disappointed you as a husband, and have no excuse for keeping so much from you—”

“You betrayed me. You betrayed my trust. And after everything that happened with Nico, I expected better Leo. You more than disappointed me. You ruined me.”

I pitched forward, my forehead tapping against the back of her hands. Feel my warmth, darling. Feel my truth.

“I know I’ve failed you, but I’ve never failed you before and don’t intend to ever again. I’m sorry. There is no excuse except that I’m human, and my reactions were those of a lost, terrified man.”

I tipped my head back, giving her my face, letting her see all of me for the first time in weeks. “I’m here on my knees, begging for your forgiveness, wife. Please… have mercy on me. Don’t leave me in the dark, Ella. I need you.”

Her features warped in sadness when she started to pull her hands from mine, the action causing my lungs to seize in my chest.