Page 41 of Reforging Onyx

Shane glanced at the Rayne witch in surprise. “Oh, well, that’s far too long. You should definitely try to talk Dominic into it.”

“Next time." Onyx fell silent again, then words escaped him despite not wanting to say anything at all, “He tried to get me to socialize with other… other people’s pets.” He scowled. “I hated them.”

Shane didn’t look at Onyx. “Why did you hate them?”

Onyx hadn’t been expecting the question, somehow, and it showed as he fiddled with the controls of the game. He’d flown through building his car, but he went back to it like he was second guessing it. Like he was second guessing everything.

“Because that’s what I’m supposed to be,” Onyx told him, his voice unsteady. “Yeah, he says he doesn’t want me broken or whatever, but he wants me well behaved. He wants to be able to show me off.” He shook his head fiercely. “I don’t want to be that.” He bit his lip. “They’re so… docile and boring and broken.”

“I don’t think he expects you to be docile, or boring. I don’t think he wants those either,” Shane replied, his tone cautious.

“You’re not saying he doesn’t want me broken,” Onyx pointed out bitterly. “He still wants me to be his…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. “He treats me like I’m his…” No, he couldn’t say that either. “I don’t know. I don’t know, but I couldn’t just be like they were. Then this other witch who had his fucking magic called him my master.” His nostrils flared. “I don’t care what this fucked up world says. I’m never going to simper and call him ‘Master.’”

Unless Dominic kept pushing him. Unless Dominic managed to take more from him than he already was. Unless he lost everything he was.

Assuming there was anything left to lose at all.

Shane slanted a sidelong glance at Onyx. “Has he ever demanded that you call him ‘Master’? Or that you simper?” He licked his lips. “He wants his tiger in golden chains, but he doesn’t want him domesticated, I don’t think.”

“Well, no,” Onyx grudgingly admitted. “But…” But nothing. If Dominic wanted him to call him that, it would’ve come up by then. But the others saw him that way, and Onyx hated it.

He scrolled over to the game to select a track.

“He wants me in his bed,” he said flatly. “He wants me to want to be there.” Why was he saying it? It was beyond humiliating. But who else would he ever be able to talk to about this? “It’s not me. I’m not a—“ He caught himself, not saying the word even though it was close.

“Yeah,” Shane replied.

Nothing else followed that word, but then, what had Onyx expected?

Onyx sighed and queued up the round. He focused on the car, on speeding around the track, instead of the topic he’d opened up with Shane about. He didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t want to admit that it was worse because it felt good.

It wasn’t until he’d completed his first circuit of the race that he asked, “Do you have someone?”

Shane started. “What, like a boyfriend? Or a pack?”

Onyx shrugged. “Like a boyfriend, or a pack, or friends, or any of it,” he clarified. He didn’t look at Shane, his eyes on the screen instead.

“Nah. At least not right now. Being a lone wolf isn’t that bad,” Shane replied, falling farther behind on the leaderboard as he spoke.

“Isn’t it hard to be alone all the time? I thought wolves liked being around other wolves.” Onyx didn’t know much about werewolves, but he was pretty sure that was the case, at least.

“It’s hard sometimes,” Shane said slowly, slowly enough to where Onyx wondered just how hard it was. “Harder for the wolf than for me, but I have some old buddies from when I was in Maelstrom, and we go run sometimes for the full moon. It helps. We used to hang out sometimes, but we’ve all been pretty busy lately.”

“Is it different?” Onyx didn’t know how wolves worked. “Like your wolf, it’s a different thing?” He glanced at Shane, then focused on the game again. He wasn’t sure what he was asking or why, really. It wasn’t like he’d ever be a wolf. He didn’t need to know anything about mutts.

Still, Shane was the closest thing he had to a friend, and didn’t people ask these things?

“Shit!” Shane’s car was hit with a projectile, and he went skidding across the track. He scowled at the TV as he steered his car back. “Yeah, kinda. Sometimes it's more different than others. I don’t know how to explain it. There’s times when I’m shifted and it’s just all me and other times when I’m just riding backseat and it’s mostly wolf. And sometimes when I’m not shifted that the wolf is pushing and trying to come out, and I’m having to hold it back.” He shrugged. “Don’t think I’ve tried to explain being a werewolf to someone who wasn’t a werewolf before.”

Onyx nodded slowly, not even smirking at Shane’s misfortune in the game. He wasn’t sure he understood exactly, but it made sense. “I’ve tried explaining being a witch to people before, but…” To the humans of the rebellion, who hated witches as much as Onyx hated supes, it hadn’t mattered. He sighed. “They didn’t want to listen. They said it was wrong, that it was disgusting, all sorts of things.”

He cleared the third lap and sat back.

“I don’t know what I am anymore,” Onyx said, voice weirdly quiet to his own ears. “If I don’t have magic, am I really a witch? If I’m a plaything, do I matter? Why does Dominic treat me like I’m… I don’t know. He treats me like I’m a pet, but it’s not like you want to fuck your pets, you know? I don't get it.” He grimaced. “Sorry.”

Shane huffed. “If you think you don’t matter to Dominic, you haven’t been paying attention,” he noted in a dry tone. “That witch came unglued when you were hurt. I’m not sure anyone in the house would’ve survived if you’d died.”

Onyx absorbed that, not sure what to make of it. He knew Dominic was obsessed and unhinged, and those weren’t a very good combination. He didn’t feel guilty over it, though. After all, if he set the house on fire with himself and Dominic inside, they’d all die together anyway.