Page 37 of A Little Kissing Between Friends

She trailed off, and my brain immediately filled in the space as if I were the one speaking. Amazing. Fantastic. Perfection. Not enough.

Blinking rapidly, I turned my head to the side and coughed over my shoulder to keep her from seeing any of that in my eyes, wishing that I could eliminate the words from my brain as easily as I could expel phlegm from my throat. Thankfully, Jucee continued as if uninterrupted.

“—something that happened that we won’t let change us, and that’s all that matters.”

Her smile was still soft and tentative, but it grew marginally as if she was forcing it at gunpoint. I wanted to protest, but I also understood more than I wanted to, and because of that, I had no choice but to return her smile. She allowed me to pull her into another hug and she didn’t even roll her eyes when I kissed her cheek. That had to count for something. And when I pulled back and our eyes met, I ignored the way my body seemed to heat with desire—with longing—and I dropped my eyes to the grass so that she wouldn’t be able to read how dissatisfied I was with the conclusion we’d come to—no matter how necessary I knew it to be.

Chapter Eleven

Cyn

Faking the Funk

My world was spinning out of control, and my fingers were too greased up to grab ahold and set it to rights. I hadn’t seen Jucee in a week, not since we’d had our talk in my parents’ front yard. Maybe I was a coward, because when I realized she was putting space in between us, I just let it happen. As much as I wanted things to stay exactly as they’d been for years, the desire for more of what we’d shared—more of experiencing her in a new, exciting way—grew with every moment that passed. It was wild and uncontrollable and it just seemed easier to let Jucee keep her distance than to be forced to reckon with the realization that I wasn’t as unaffected as I portrayed to be. There was no way that I could make up for not being there when she woke up and keep my hands to myself. Or kiss her in apology. I just needed time for the memory of what we’d done to wear off, is all.

Just a little time. A couple weeks or a month or something like that.

That’s it.

Nothing too outrageous.

It was possible that everything was fine and I was just anxious and reading too deeply into things. I mean, we’d talked, but she hadn’t come by the house or the studio, and that was unusual for us. She’d even missed Sunday dinner, which was an ordeal. Had everybody asking about her until they got tired of my hemming and hawing and Nana finally sucked her teeth at me and went to call Jucee for answers herself. I had no idea what excuse she’d given, but no one asked me another question.

I knew that Nana had seen Jucee since then, because Amani had been at the house a couple of times when I stopped by, but that was all I knew. Well, I also knew that I hadn’t done anything to change the radio silence between us either. I’d texted—to which she always answered—but hadn’t popped up on her or stopped by the club to see her. My reasons felt honorable. If she needed time to help her reset our friendship in her mind, then I would give her that and then some. More than anything, I couldn’t lose Juleesa Marie Jones or her friendship.

My phone rang, which was weird, because I could’ve sworn I’d put it on silent. I lifted it off of the table to see that it was Jackie calling me. I held it for a second, trying to decide if I wanted to answer it or not. I could feel my daddy’s eyes on me, and I knew that it was my indecision that had drawn his attention. Usually, my phone never rang when I was in the studio, with only a small number of people able to get through my focus session. All it took was a quick glance at the screen for me to know if it was worth breaking my concentration to talk to whoever was on the other line or not.

I knew it was suspicious as hell, taking as long as I was to decide, and it was even worse when I swiped my thumb across the screen and lifted the device to my ear.

“Whassup, Jackie?”

“Hey, baby,” she crooned into the phone, the saccharine tone pulling my lips into an instant frown. “What you up to?”

I stared down at the soundboard for a moment, wondering when we’d moved to terms of endearment. “Uh...I’m in the studio working on some tracks for Hitta.”

She gasped. “Ooh! I love him! Is he there with you?”

The excitement in her voice was off-putting. It wasn’t just awe, it was fandom, and I hated that shit.

“Naw. He was here a couple of weeks ago to lay some stuff down, and now I’m mixing and mastering what we came up with.”

“That’s so dope,” she breathed. “You ate lunch yet?”

As annoyed as I was by her, the sound of food perked me up. I could deal with her shit for a little longer if she was gon’ feed me.

“Not yet. I need to eat something soon though. I’ve been in here all morning.”

“Okay. I’ll see what I can do about that.”

I might’ve grinned at that. Just a little bit though. Food got me excited. “That’s a bet.”

When she hung up, I replaced my phone on the table and turned back to the soundboard.

“Hmm,” came a judgmental hum from my daddy, who had yet to say a word.

I slid my eyes over to him.

“What, Daddy? What you got to say?”