Page 6 of D’Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding

“This little setup here—” she waved at the camera and microphone “—is for what we at Instant I Do like to call the Jitter Cam.”

That didn’t sound promising. “Jitter? Like...wedding jitters?”

Nodding, her smile widened as she winked at me. “Exactly like that! And just like wedding jitters are a natural and normal part of the wedding process, we want your interactions with the Jitter Cam to be as natural as possible. You’ll see different variations of this setup over the next six weeks. At random intervals each week, you’ll take fifteen to thirty minutes to talk about what’s going on, how the wedding planning is progressing, how you feel about your fiancée, et cetera, et cetera. Sometimes it will just be you and the camera, and you’ll have the opportunity to speak your mind. Other times, it’ll be interview style, with your executive producer asking you questions off camera.”

“I’ll be doing this several times a week?” That didn’t sound too bad. I’d grown up watching The Real World, so the concept of a “confessional” was something I was familiar with.

“Generally, you’ll only do one Jitter Cam per week, but it isn’t unheard of to be pulled into a second or even third session after completing certain tasks during the week.”

I nodded. “That sounds pretty painless. What’s the catch?”

Tossing her head back, Bethany let off a short bark of laughter. “There isn’t a catch. I promise.”

Narrowing my eyes, I tilted my head to the side. “Well, we just met, so I have no idea if that promise is worth anything.”

Still laughing, she shook her head. “You have a point. The good news is that you can talk about that as soon as I’m out of the room.”

My eyes widened. “Wait, like...right now?”

Grinning, Bethany nodded. “Yep. There’s no time like the present.”

I pursed my lips. “That’s the catch.”

Her shoulders shook as she laughed again. “Nope. Still not a catch. We need to capture your reaction to the party.”

“But the party isn’t over.”

“Which means everything is fresh. Don’t think about it too hard; just give your initial reaction to what you’ve experienced thus far, and your first impressions of everyone. When the timer goes off, you can come on out.”

I nodded and watched as she left the room, then I turned my attention to the camera in front of me. Taking a deep breath, I squared my shoulders and folded my hands in my lap.

Here goes nothing.

Jitter Cam 01-D’Vaughn

Um. This isn’t awkward at all. Let’s see. Well, so far things seem cool. The party is a nice way for everyone to get to know each other, but I guess I don’t really see the point of it, since I won’t see eight of those people after today. Speaking of those people, Diamond is a trip. She’s hilarious and the complete life of the party. Whoever ends up as her fiancé had better be someone who won’t fold under her dynamic personality. I know it won’t be me, since she’s a straight, trans woman. She’s gorgeous though, and I hope she makes it all the way.

Um...Kirk is pretty funny. I think him and Jerri have hit it off. Actually, you know what? Kirk is a huge flirt and was up in Margo’s face as well. Margo is...a lot. I mean that in the nicest way possible. She’s very...severe...for lack of a better word. She reminds me of the stereotypical schoolmarm from a boarding school. Just unyielding and hard to please. Yikes. That sounds terrible. If you see this, Margo, I apologize. Anyway, um...I wonder what made her audition for the show, but I guess I don’t have to wonder why she was selected. It would be a miracle if she can convince people that she is in love with someone, let alone getting married.

Oh, and Jerri is freaking hilarious. Whenever I’m around them, I laugh until my ribs hurt. Kris is...fine as hell. That’s it. Just sexy as all get-out for no damn reason. Like...good luck to whoever is paired up with her, because you’re going to need the strength of the gods to keep from drooling whenever you look at her. Matter of fact; let me say a prayer right now.

Lord, keep your hand on Kris’s fiancée. They need you now more than ever because they won’t be able to convince people they’re marrying her if they’re staring at her dumbly at every turn. Gird their loins and strengthen their poker face. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. Amen.

My mama would kill me if she heard me joke like that while praying. Lord, forgive me. Mama, if you see this, forgive me too.

Hosea seems cool, but something about him feels...disingenuous. Like...he’s cisgender and Very Manly. He presents as heterosexual, but I wonder if he isn’t hiding behind that facade. Now that I think about it, he strikes me as the type of person who isn’t out to their family. As a fellow mothball, I recognize that in him and I’ll be saying a prayer for him tonight. If he is closeted and is using this show as the vehicle to come out to his family—like I’m doing—I hope that he doesn’t lose anyone close to him. I hope that the people he loves, love him enough to accept that being gay is a part of who he is and always has been.

Let’s see. Who am I missing? I haven’t really had a chance to talk to Bryce or Nicolas but I can’t lie. Bryce is flamboyant and seems to have his eyes set on Hosea, which would be great television if they actually got paired together. Nicolas seems cool, if a little gross. He doesn’t seem to be leaning toward any one person though. I’m still squicked out by that ‘wet hole’ comment. Why are men like this? Honest question.

Last but not least, there’s Tanisha. Um...I...like her? I don’t know why I said that like a question. I’m not unsure about it. I like her. It’s weird to say that about someone I literally just met, but it’s true. I like her energy. She’s gorgeous and she smells so good, and she isn’t stingy with compliments. I don’t really have a type but if I did, it’d be her. Of course, I didn’t say that to her, but I didn’t have to, since she told me straight up that I was her type. That, um...that was nice to hear. She was pretty adamant that we wouldn’t get paired, but maybe she’ll be wrong. Who knows?

Welp, those are my initial thoughts about everyone. Here’s to the next six weeks. Hopefully I’m not knocked out before we even make it to the weekend. I was gonna come out to my mama eventually...one day, maybe, but it would be so much easier to do with a camera around, since she’d rather die than present anything other than a solid family unit in front of others.

Ah, well. Wish me luck.

Chapter Two

Kris