Page 74 of Split or Swallow

Tem could feel his sadness, and beneath it, deep regret. She wanted nothing more than to run back to the cave to comfort him. Before she could act on it, Caspen said:

It is not your concern. Like I said, you did nothing wrong.

She felt him start to fade, and only wished to pull him back.

Please don’t go.

His presence paused.

I cannot stay, Tem. We should not be talking like this in the first place.

But why?

Because it will only lead to pain.

She shook her head.

You have never caused me pain.

The wind caressed her cheek, and she swore he had sent it.

I did tonight.

He was fading again, pulling away. She had to keep him.

If this will only lead to pain, then why did you give me…a piece of you?

Caspen’s presence grew, as if his hands were on her shoulders. The claw was still inside her, and she felt it pulse.

I should not have done that either.

His words crushed her. Of course he regretted it. Of course she was not worthy of the gesture. She swallowed her shame.

Shall I return it to you?

Caspen flared in her mind.

I did not say I wanted it back. Only that I should not have given it to you. Do not assume I regret my actions. I am not someone who makes my decisions lightly.

His words came in an avalanche, so quickly Tem could barely keep up. She blinked, trying to remain calm as she asked:

So you don’t regret it?

His answer was quiet:

No.

Tem gripped the bench, as if by doing so she could grip him.

Will you think of me?

His reply was barely a whisper, lost in the wind:

Constantly.

Caspen relinquished his grip on her mind, and she felt his energy subside. Tem tried to hang on, but she knew this time he wouldn’t stay. His presence faded, and she was all alone in the garden, once again staring at the stars. Where a moment ago she had been warm, now she shivered.

She tiptoed back through the house, passing her mother’s door and hearing her reassuring snores. Tem’s room was dark, but warm, and she undressed slowly, pretending that Caspen was watching. The tip of the claw gleamed between her legs, its pearly sheen glowing in the darkness. It was the most beautiful thing in the world to her—certainly the most beautiful thing she had ever owned. Although she wondered if she did truly own it. Could one even own a part of someone else? Was any part of Caspen hers to own? Tem wasn’t sure. All she knew was that he owned her completely, whether he wanted to or not. Tem touched the claw, pushing it deeper into the place Caspen had not yet been, yet she dearly wanted him to go.