Page 194 of Split or Swallow

Her eyes slammed shut as she came.

Caspen’s hands gripped her hips, his fingers digging deep into her skin. He held her against him as he thrust into her, again and again, so quickly Tem could barely breathe. He was coming too—just as intensely, just as desperately as she was.

When they were finally finished, they lay together, his head resting on her chest. Tem ran her fingers through his dark hair, marveling at what had just happened.

Eventually, Caspen asked:

Why did you come into my mind?

You said my name in your sleep.

She felt him smile against her skin.

I see. And?

And, what?

He raised his head to look her in the eye.

Did you find what you were looking for?

Tem thought about what she’d sensed in his mind: the dark cloud of fear that surrounded his thoughts of her. She wanted to ask about it. But she also wanted to savor this moment with him. So she said:

Yes.

Good. You are welcome anytime.

They fell asleep together.

When Tem awoke, her first thought was of the ritual. She couldn’t believe it was happening tonight—that in a few short hours she would be doing unthinkable things in order to prove herself to Caspen’s quiver. She wanted to stay here with Caspen until it was time. But her mother needed her on the farm, and there was no possibility of lingering.

Caspen walked her to the head of the trail. Instead of kissing her, he placed his hands on her shoulders.

“It will begin at dusk,” he said. “Come when you can.”

Tem nodded. She was trying to remain calm, but her stomach wasn’t cooperating.

“Do I need to…bring anything?”

She didn’t know what else to ask.

Caspen shook his head.

“No. But do not exert yourself today. You will need your strength.”

Tem nodded again. Before she could begin to worry, Caspen kissed her. They kissed slowly, and by the time they drew apart, Tem was wet again.

“I wish I could stay with you,” she whispered against his lips.

“Soon,” he whispered back.

Tem traipsed through her farm work, trying not to think about tonight. Her mother was gone, running an errand in the village, so at least she didn’t have to visit Vera. But on a day like today, Tem would have welcomed the distraction. Her chores were done early; there was nothing to do but worry. When her mother returned, they spent the afternoon together in the kitchen, mending their winter cloaks. Hours passed in silence, and Tem’s mind spun.

Her thoughts wandered to her very first night in the caves—how the girl in front of her had run screaming back down the path. Tem wondered where that girl was now, and whether she regretted fleeing from her fate. She remembered what her mother had said to her that night after she’d spread oil on her thighs: They will give you courage.

Tem could use that courage now.

“Mother?” she asked.