Page 112 of Julian

Fear.

A fear that maybe the version of Julian I fell for only existed temporarily.

Percy reaches the study door, then opens it for me and steps aside.

Julian sits with his back to us in the large leather chair positioned near the wood-burning fireplace.

One arm rests against the chair while the other lifts a whiskey glass toward his mouth.

“Sir,” Percy says quietly.

Only then does Julian glance over his shoulder. “Harper.” His voice is flat, defeated. Percy disappears silently behind me, closing the doors and leaving us alone. “What are you doing here?”

“I was on my way home after we hung up. I was going to just accept the way you were blowing me off, but then I thought… no… I deserve more than that. I deserve better than that. So I want to know. What’s going on with you?”

Julian turns back toward the fire before answering, like looking at me directly requires more energy than he has available right now. “Nothing’s going on.”

The response ignites every ounce of anger I’ve been carrying uptown. “Bullshit,” I snarl, walking all the way into his study and positioning myself before his chair so he’s forced to look at me.

His gaze is flat and lusterless. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Harper.”

“I want you to stop acting like I’m insane for noticing that something’s wrong.”

Finally, he exhales and leans back in the chair. “I’ve had a difficult few days.”

I throw my hands wide. “And your solution is to completely shut me out?”

“I didn’t shut you out. I’m only human, Harper. I can’t be everything to everyone all the time.”

I laugh then because the denial is so outrageous I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “I’m not asking you to be superhuman, Julian. I’m just looking for an adult response. I mean, you barely speak to me. You won’t answer questions. Every conversation it’s as if I’m bothering you.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t be dramatic.”

“What?” My voice rises despite myself. “Tell me what the hell changed, Julian, because two weeks ago you were telling me you wanted a future with me and now I can barely get you to stay on the phone for ten seconds.”

“You’re making this bigger than it is.”

“There it is,” I snap. “That thing you keep doing.”

His eyes finally cut toward me. “What thing?”

“You keep trying to make me feel crazy for reacting to your behavior.”

“I’m not gaslighting you, Harper.”

“Then stop acting like nothing’s happened!”

Julian rises abruptly from the chair then. I step back on instinct.

He looks wrecked, but I’m too hurt now to let that stop me. “What did I do? Seriously, Julian. What happened? Because it’s like I’m standing here being punished for a misstep I don’t even know I took.”

His eyes close. “You didn’t do anything.”

“Then why are you pushing me away?”

“I’m not pushing you away.”

“Stop saying that!” I cry out. “Stop telling me reality isn’t reality.”