Page 55 of Finding His Fox

”I got some great shots,” I replied, my eyes fixed on Cal as he continued the lesson.

As I watched the children hanging onto Cal’s every word, a warmth spread through me. I realized that Cal would make a good dad someday.

I felt something stirring inside me, a mix of longing and admiration.

Could I do it? Overcome whatever fear I had with kids? Maybe even be a dad someday? The idea sounded daunting yet tempting.

Anything was possible with Cal.

A nudge to my side brought me back from my thoughts. Cliff looked at me with a knowing smile.

“So, have you told him you love him yet?” Cliff teased, the words hanging in the air.

Chapter 16

Nate

Me? Love Cal? I couldn’t help but let out a laugh at the ridiculous thought.

Love seemed like such an enormous word. So complex. I wasn’t ready to face that yet.

Admired? Absolutely. Cared about him? Without a doubt. Love? I did love every moment we’ve spent together. But to be in love with Cal? That felt like uncharted territory.

Of course, it didn’t help that I’ve always avoided or ran away from relationships in the past that came anywhere close to that emotion.

Then again, Cal was different from anyone I had ever known.

Cliff’s question definitely threw me off guard. It was something I was afraid to know the answer to.

Love felt so much bigger, so much scarier than what I was willing to admit.

“If you mean whether I love that he’s good with kids, then sure. But what I really love is when he cooks for me,” I answered, hoping to change the subject.

Cliff seemed to catch on and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds nice,” he replied, his tone sympathetic.

“I’ll catch up with you later, okay? I need to bring these to the group,” Cliff explained, gesturing to the sticks he was carrying.

It was as if he sensed my need for space to process my thoughts. I nodded in response, grateful that he understood me.

I watched as Cliff made his way towards the group.

As I continued to observe Cliff and Cal carry on with the class, I still couldn’t shake the feeling of uncertainty inside me.

The idea of love, what it did to my dad. I didn’t want to think about it. Not now.

I needed to busy myself and decided to go around and take more pictures for Cal.

After a few hours, the camp seemed to have ended. Parents started coming in and picking up their kids.

I noticed Cliff was doing most of the talking with the parents. Cal wasn’t too chatty with them.

As expected of my Mr. Grump, I mused to myself.

Once the last of the children had been picked up, Cal approached me.

“It’ll just be a little while longer. We need to clean up a bit,” he explained.

“Sure, can I help?” I offered.