Page 52 of Where We Belong

“You fucking kissed me!” I shout, my voice cracking under the unfamiliar stretch. I cross the room in three strides and she inhales so sharply that the breath catches in her throat. I do not wish to make her cry or to scare her, but there is nowhere else for this fury to go, so I shall let it burn here. “I was asleep.” I continue, throat straining. “I told you I had made a vow at the basin, that this was over. We would never be bonded, and you were free to love whomever you choose and you kissed me anyway. You ignited this thing inside of me when I just needed comfort from you that night, Eira. My mother had been killed in front of me some hours before. I needed you to be there. To lie with me. And now, I am trapped in this limbo, in this cage. That kiss…it…my body yearns for you. For release. But I cannot complete the ceremony, so it does not work at all. My heart and everything that I am is yours. But I cannot have you.”

Her heart races in my ears, brown eyes wide and wet.

“You consume my every thought, my every choice. And I have never charged nor blamed you for it. But I cannot control what it has done to me. I do not punish you. I do not remind you. You are not a slave, nor a servant, as I would very much prefer. I wish, I wish, oh how I wish I could lock you away in my room, bind a collar to your neck, and take you wherever I go. Claim you. Love you. But I cannot. Now with Agni here, with the assassination attempt and everything that means for me… I—” I falter, drawing back my anger and controlling my tone, my fingers worrying at my cuff as I search for the right shape of the words. “I cannot bear this. And—”

“Aiden. Please, I’m so sorry. Don’t say what I think you’re about to say. Please. I—”

I cannot stop myself. I do not think I would, even if I could.

“I forbid it,” I say.

“Aiden—”

“You are not to engage with Lieutenant Nykholas,” I say, snapping back into formality. “That is a command from your Prince, and perhaps your future King. If you do, I shall sentence him to death whether he is guilty of treason or not.” Something small inside me wants to explain, to undo the damage I have just done, but I am unable to. She shakes her head, backing away from me, “You are mine, Eira, and you would do well to remember that. You ensured it. I have allowed you to have your fun, and that was very hard for me, so you are welcome. But it is time to stop now. I have never thrown your past in your face, but perhaps I need to start.” Without another word, she leaves. The monster inside me stirred, and I let it win. But I cannot lose her, not her, too. If she must be my prisoner for the rest of eternity, so be it. If I must remove every last male who dares lay eyes on her, so be it. Oh, if grandfather could see me now.

Chapter 49

Ashley

My patience was tried, my will was taxed,

a new way for me to stretch,

Panic squeezes my lungs as I gasp for air before a sweet scent calms my racing heart and a blurry Kaed is at my bedside. My hands instinctively reach for him, gripping fistfuls of his clothes while his thumb traces slow, soothing circles along my cheek, fingers tangling in my curls. “Shhh,” he whispers into my hair. “You’re safe.”

I exhale shakily, my heartbeat slowing, syncing with his. My mind takes a second to register where I am. “You know, people keep telling me that, and yet I keep ending up here.”

He lets out a hearty chuckle. I just love it when he laughs. It transforms him completely. Perfectly white teeth brighten his face.

“What happened?” He explains everything, and whilst he does, my body stiffens at the haunting thought that I might’ve died. Because over time, I’d let myself wonder what it might be like if the people here were free. If we all were. I’d imagined Kaed in my tiny flat, cleaning up the mess he made the last time he was there. Nyk sprawled across my new bed, saying something that makes Kaed laugh so hard he loses his balance. Walking Eira and Cook to the pier so they can try those mini doughnuts I love, even Aiden can tag along, if he doesn’t speak. And maybe I wouldn’t stop Lili, Leander, and Tobian from roughing up Raph a bit for leaving me that night. But if they succeeded, or captured me again and locked me in those cells… As if sensing my thoughts, Kaed cups both of my hands into one of his. “I will never let them take you again. I will tear this land apart, and The Above to get you back.”

“The Above? But won’t you go insane and lose your mind, Captain?”

“Then I’ll go insane, Princess. I’ll lose my mind. And I’ll still find you in my madness.” Our eyes meet. It’s fire. It’s a dangerous storm of electricity and smoke. And I can’t look too deeply because I don’t know what I’ll find in the torrent, so I look away. From something I’m starting to understand, to crave. And I can’t let myself want this, him. Because when has it ever mattered what I want?

“Lastly, Cook was arrested two nights ago,” he adds, his tone softening, but not much. I’ve noticed Kaed’s growing hostility towards our friendship of late, so I’m not surprised he speaks through gritted teeth. The Burden of the Bound (aka the book that assaulted me in my sleep) says Kaed’s supposed to get murder-y protective over me. But nowhere does it say I should feel the same way about him. And yet… I think I do.

“What?” I jerk upright so fast my head spins. “He would never—”

Kaed’s expression darkens with concern and something else. He quickly reaches for the glass of water on my bedside table. “Easy,” he presses it into my hands. “The poisoned glass had to pass through the kitchens. Cook was too busy chastising a chef for using three spoons of salt instead of two and three-quarters when that batch of drinks went out.” I hold the glass up to the light before I take a sip. The cool liquid soothes my throat. “Is he okay?

“It’s not amazing in there.”

I huff and smack his shoulder lightly.

“He’s fine, Princess. He’s a grown male. Eira took him something to eat when I snuck her to see Nyk, they’re a few cells apart. He said it needed more pepper.”

He smooths the crease between my brows with a gentle touch, a smile tugging at his lips. “We’re not supposed to, but I can take you to see them both when you’re ready. Though Theron may try to speak to you. I will knock him out if needs be.” I take another sip of water before Kaed puts my glass back next to a snoozing copy of Brewery Basics.

“Tonight, please? And thank you,”

“No problem,” he says, waving a hand. “Wouldn’t want you missing your loverboy too much.”

I roll my eyes. “He’s not my loverboy. He just makes me laugh. And gives me food. And he’s handsome.”

He clutches his heart, face twisting like I just stabbed him in the chest.

“Everyone is handsome here, Kaed!”