Page 110 of The Fall

Fear No More The Heat Of The Sun

Kerr was asleep when the door banging open woke her up. And then a familiar tongue moved around her mouth. “I’m sorry.” Lips formed the words against hers “I’m an arsehole.”

“I kind of like the idea of being thrown around, but I’d prefer to feel it, yeah?”

Lusa laughed, only half-breaking the kiss. Sniffing as the tears fell until she fell asleep on Kerr’s chest.

Streaming sunlight and a stiff neck later, Mackenzie and Jenni filed in. Jenni seemed only mildly surprised at Lusa’s presence and she knew better than to mention it.

“If I do this, what happens after?” Kerr tried to make eye contact with Jenni.

Jenni looked to Mackenzie. “I’ll coach you through how your new body works. We’ll eat biscuits and drink tea, or whatever you do in this backwater.”

Lusa curled her lip.

“You know? Gossip? Paint nails? Do girl shit?” Lusa was about to tell her off, but Mackenzie continued. “Well,” she put a thumb to her lip. “Maybe not girl shit. If this works, you’ll be the new template for men.” She waved it off. “You’ll figure out new social roles for yourselves anyway.”

Jenni suddenly looked concerned. “And if it doesn’t work?”

“Nothing too bad. She’ll just be sterile. Not like she wasn’t already.” Mackenzie spread her hands toward Kerr’s motionless body. “The alternative is this.”

“I meant, where do I go after?” Kerr looked to Lusa. “Where do I fit?” Talia had insinuated that she would be welcome here, but she didn’t want to pressure Lusa.

Lusa chewed her bottom lip. Did that mean she didn’t want Kerr to stay or that she didn’t want her to feel pressured either? She turned toward a noise from the hallway.

“She’s living with me until she decides.” Cat stood in the door. “I know there are security concerns, and we argued about them all last night, but when this is done, she’ll be just as vulnerable as the rest of the ghosts. That gives her the right to at least make the decision herself.”

“Himself,” Mackenzie corrected.

“I’m still she, thank you very much.” Kerr glared at Mackenzie.

“You don’t have to choose.” Sparx’s male voice came through the hall. “Also, I printed that thing you wanted.”

“Is everyone here?” Lusa squeezed her fists, clearly uncomfortable with what she probably thought would be a more private moment.

“Not everyone. Sesi is securing the area around the vault with Tornit, Talia and Siku are prepping the secondary transport.” Callie’s voice replied from the hall. “Alana and Cam are here, though,” she added, as if Lusa’s question hadn’t been rhetorical.

Lusa inhaled sharply, visibly shaking. Kerr worried she might lose control, but Lusa had grown up around these people. Surely, they knew how to handle her? Jenni’s hand found her back. They looked at the ground together.

“This is a big moment for everyone. Not just you.” Lusa nodded, swallowing whatever irritant she’d been carrying.

The tiny glimpse into Lusa’s struggles should have sent her running, but all Kerr wanted was to possess every passionate drop of her. Dark and dangerous, no wonder she believed she was unlovable. Kerr would happily take it all.

“I still have a belly button.” Kerr’s fingers found her navel. And then she realised her fingers were no longer ceramic composite. “Is it strange that I forgot my arm would be meat again?” She held her fingers splayed out before her. Holding the largest, warmest-looking towel, was the woman she was besotted with.

Lusa wrapped her tightly, bringing her mouth close to the shell of her ear. “I’ll miss the self-cleaning function.”

Kerr bit her lip and blushed. Mackenzie poked her head from behind the terminal. “I can hear you, you know.” She started toward them. “Let me show you how to attune your new ears.”

Lusa shooed her off. “Later. Let her sleep first.”

“The belly button is superfluous anyway,” Mackenzie muttered, sulking behind the terminal. “I have to recalibrate this for Pinga’s arm.”

“I think Pinga’s having too much fun with her old arm to want a new one.” Lusa helped Kerr take a few steps with her new legs. “And you should be getting ready to unlock that vault before you try to make her your guinea pig as well.”

Approaching the exit, Kerr realised she had no footwear. Reading her mind, Lusa scooped her up like she was nothing. Kerr squealed, tumbling against her chest. Allowing herself a few moments to steep in the romance of it couldn’t hurt, could it? The big decisions could wait. Under a dazzling array of microscopic lights in an infinite sky above, a few moments stretched into too many more.

The night breeze played with strands of hair, unbuffered by her non-existent Thermabulle. She flexed her eye muscles out of habit to check her hormone levels, only to find nothing. The terrifying and exhilarating possibility of experiencing life raw and unfiltered, with no way to go back was overwhelming, but solace hid in the hollow of Lusa’s neck. Unknown only days ago, the scent of her skin brought too much comfort. Too much familiarity to let it go.