Page 65 of The Death of Kisses

“What do you mean? She killed herself,” his voice faltered, like he was seeing me for the first time—like the truth he refused to believe was finally tearing him apart.

“She wouldn’t listen to me! I begged her to stay. Why didn’t she stay?” My words tumbled out in broken fragments, fear clouding my judgment—words that felt too small to contain the agony inside me. The damage Lee caused was already beyond repair, shattered beyond mend. Lilly, always so inclined to choose him—how could I let that happen again? How could I survive losing her a second time?

No.

“No,” I swallowed, but he lunged at me with such violent determination, trying to wrest the gun from my grasp. I clung to it with everything I had, my knuckles white, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. We collided with the desk — a lamp was torn from its place, crashing to the floor, shattering into pieces that glittered like broken dreams. Everything around us was a chaos of tears and shouts, a deafening storm I didn’t even realize I was screaming into.

Suddenly, that unmistakable, piercing sound cut through the noise — a sound that hit me like a blow to the soul — and before I knew it, my finger was on the trigger. Fear gripped me, wide-eyed and trembling, as I turned to Lee. His face mirrored my shock, his eyes wide with disbelief, as if neither of us could believe what was happening.

Blood exploded across my chest as I was pushed backward, a fiery pain ripping through me. Flames flickered and danced along the ceiling, casting an hellish glow as everything around us ignited in chaos. I closed my eyes, willing the pain away, but it roared in my ears, and then came the scream — raw and hopeless. A scream that left my lungs and tore into my soul.

My head tilted helplessly as I watched Lee scoop up Lilly’s broken, crumpled body. He disappeared into the smoke and flames, swallowed by the inferno as everything around us erupted in destruction. It burned — every ounce of hope, every memory, everything I loved consumed by the flames. Time slowed to an agonizing crawl, and my fingers reached instinctively for the hole in my chest. I looked at them, blinking through tears and pain, as red blood dripped from my fingertips like a terrible, unstoppable river.

And then I saw him — behind my blood-stained fingers — kneeling so gently beside me, as if to cradle what was left of us.

“Lee?” I whispered, full of desperate love and fear.

“I’m here, Charlotte,” he choked out, tears streaming down his face, bleeding from his soul. Why was he crying? My towering brother, my protector — nothing ever hurt him.

He pushed aside my hair, his hand coated in my blood, and as the flames grew higher, fierce and consuming, a strange calm settled over me.

“I love you, Lee.”

His voice cracked but was steady with devotion. “I love you.”

55

ASHES, ASHES. WE ALL FALL DOWN…

Present day - November 23rd - Town of Ashwood - Population 1,576 - 18 yrs old

Ijolted awake in a panic, gasping violently as if my lungs were desperate to catch every ounce of air they could. A brutal, wracking cough seized me as I forced my eyes open, fighting to see through the haze of chaos. Ash covered my body – clinging to my arms and legs — blanketing everything in a suffocating gray that seeped into my very soul. My heart slammed to a halt with fear, pounding deafeningly in my chest. I scrambled to take in my surroundings, chattering as I stared at the wreckage of the cabin—mostly consumed by flames. Worst of all, my leg throbbed in relentless, crushing pain as if it were shattered beyond repair.

Sitting up to examine it, I clenched my teeth so fiercely that pain shot through my jaw and spiraled into every fiber of my being. My useless leg refused to support me, and a tidal wave of despair washed over me. At the top of the hill, I saw two bikes standing quietly—silent witnesses to my suffering—and with everything I had, I started crawling toward them. Each inch forward was agony—sharp, relentless pain ripping through my body, making me doubt I'd find the strength to go on. I finally reached the first bike, I fumbled with the clutch to sit upright against it, my hands shaking uncontrollably. A small backpack was strapped to the rear, its presence a fragile thread of hope. My fingers shook as I struggled with the clips, every second feeling like an eternity. When the bag finally fell free, I felt an overwhelming rush of emotion—could have cried, I swear. With shaky hands, I tore open the zippers, searching for something, anything, that could save me. A bottle of water caught my eye, and I gulped it down urgently, realizing how parched I had been—how close I’d come to giving up. Frantically, I shuffled through the bag, clinging to the faint glimmer of hope that I might find help. Just as I was about to surrender, I saw it—hidden in the far back pocket, blending into the canvas like a secret miracle. My heart pounding, I grabbed the phone and dialed 9-1-1 with trembling fingers, clutching onto the hope that help was finally on its way.

“9-1-1. What’s your emergency?”

I struggled to find my voice, struggled to speak, but all that escaped were tears—deep, desperate tears that refused to stop. They were dead. Completely dead.

EPILOGUE

A Few months later - April 29th - Town of Coldwater - Population 1,247 - 19 yr old

Istood hesitantly in front of the sign-in desk, bouncing on heels as I reached up to my hair. It was shorter now, like hers was in the end. I couldn’t have kept the long locks and I was struggling to keep the hair I had with the chemo.

“May I help you?” The desk clerk asked and I cleared my throat. My fingers latched onto the broken lighter next to my sunflower pendant.

“Yes, I am here to visit someone I met here once,” I politely stood there then quickly added, “Oh his name’s Tommy. I don’t know his last name.”

The clerk typed something on her computer and then glanced up at me. “He's with family right now but you can go on back.”

The loud buzzer made me flinch as I pushed through the mental ward’s doors. There was something so familiar about it all. The disinfectant hit my nostrils and my mind danced to last year.

The white door opened on creaking hinges, I looked up from my knee to see her.

Blonde, green eyes and wildly traumatized. I’d laugh if I wasn’t still holding the lighter in my mouth, my last little fuck you to Dad for sending me here.

“Hi,” she squeaked as the door closed behind her.