Page 60 of The Death of Kisses

For an agonizing moment, confusion flickered across my face, stretching too long before I finally stepped back and gazed at her—my heart pounding uncontrollably.

“I want to taste your fear… I want to feel your pain… I want to hear you scream my name,” I affirmed, my lips pressing tenderly onto her tears, trailing kisses across her jawline, each one a battle between my desire and the ache in my chest. When I reached her collarbone, I paused, my lips just centimeters from her skin, shuddering with the need to do more.

“The crazy part,” I murmured, voice thick with emotion, “is that you’ll ask me to do it again.”

Without waiting for her reply, I turned on my heel and walked away, every step heavy with the weight of everything left unsaid, leaving behind the doubts.

48

NUMB

Present day - November 22nd - Town of Ashwood - Population 1,576 - 18 yrs old

My fingers had gone utterly numb, heavy and unfeeling, yet I clawed at them desperately, clutching onto the hope that they still belonged to me. Every tiny movement felt like a knife digging deeper into my wrists, the pain mingling with the ache in my chest. A strangled cry escaped before I could even catch it.

The wind howled around me, biting through my skin as my teeth chattered uncontrollably. My oversized T-shirt offered little refuge, barely shielding me from the relentless cold and the storm raging inside. I looked around, fighting against the suffocating binds of the rope, my heart pounding with helplessness, until a broken plea escaped my lips.

“Charlie?” I forced the name out, voice frantic with a hopefulness that betrayed me.

Silence.

Only the gentle rustling of the willow branches swayed in the wind, whispering cruelly in the darkness, offering no answers, no reassurance—only solitude.

I dangled there like a puppet on fragile strings, aching with every passing second, fiercely yearning for her return. My head drooped in despair, the icy chill seeping deep into my bones, sapping my strength and hope. The ache in my shoulders grew heavier with each movement, as I helplessly watched the willow shadows stretch and shift beneath the relentless sun—reminding me of her absence. She’s the reason I’m trapped in this silence, in this loneliness.

Charlie promised me she would never leave, never abandon me. But in the end, she left me stranded, powerless, beneath the cold, unforgiving shadow of someone else's grave. The betrayal cut deeper than I ever thought possible.

49

SCARS

Present day - November 22nd - Town of Ashwood - Population 1,576 - 18 yrs old

Istood at the kitchen window, my eyes fixed on the ancient tree, and a relentless, fiery ache clawed its way up my throat. An overwhelming sense of dread washed over me, as if my mind had shattered into a thousand fragile pieces—something broken beyond repair. I remained rooted there, helpless and consumed by that haunting watchfulness.

The sun drifted lazily across the sky, hands of rain clouds creeping closer, casting a somber shadow over everything. A wild thought suddenly seized me, fierce and undeniable—something about the rain felt hauntingly familiar, almost cursed. Forbidden.

A desperate craving surged within me, a need so fierce it felt like a physical ache—something I couldn’t ignore. I turned, frantic, searching for my pack of smokes, questioning if it was merely the weight of stress or something darker. My fingers finally found it resting quietly by her coffee cup, alongside her black lighter—Lilly’s lighter—staring back at me like a silent sentinel.

The door swung open without a sound as I moved sluggishly toward the tree, clutching the pack of cigarettes in my hands.

Click.

The lid peeled back with a whisper, my fingers striking the flint in an instinctive rush.

Tobacco touched my lips, and I drew in a shuddering breath, igniting the cigarette, as if trying to ignite some spark within me.

“Charlie?” A faint sound escaped her—her voice barely more than a whisper, fragile and broken. The tree itself seemed to possess her, an eerie embodiment of her distress.

I continued forward with heavy, slow steps, exhaling smoke into the air, my fingers gently brushing against the weeping willow’s branches, as if seeking comfort or perhaps connection.

“It’s going to rain soon,” I mumbled, my voice distant, as if unable to hold onto clarity. My mind unraveled and chaos spilled out, scattering jagged shards of thought. I drew another long puff, watching the smoke curl into the sky before I looked down at the cigarette, its small ember burning brighter than the sun, fierce and unforgiving.

I stepped into the heart of the willow, feeling the weight of something unspoken pressing against my chest.

Lilly’s piercing blue eyes locked onto mine, and I blinked in disbelief, caught somewhere between reality and something darker.

Anna stood in Lilly’s place, her body shivering from the cold, her bare legs exposed, hauntingly marked by scars that had seared themselves into my memory.