Page 100 of Locked in Wonderland

Another man stood, lifted a scroll from the table, and gave it a dramatic flick.

It unfurled.

And kept unfurling.

And kept unfurling.

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing.

Surely this had to be satire.

Something clicked. This was the court channel I’d always ignored because it was too bizarre to sit through. Apparently, I’d become its latest attraction. Which meant every second of this was theater. A courtroom drama I’d never agreed to be part of. Just like the porn video. Only with more clothes and fewer orgasms.

“The defendant has committed multiple violations during his time in Wonderland,” Mr. Cartwright announced. “The order of these alleged offenses reflects neither chronology nor severity. Determining guilt and punishment remains the responsibility of the court.”

Queenie nodded for him to continue.

“The defendant failed to maintain his assigned eye color.”

I laughed. “You can’t change someone’s eye color without their permission.”

Nobody reacted.

“The defendant failed to maintain his assigned uniform.”

I snorted. “Uniform? You dressed me like a rent boy. Of course, I got rid of it as soon as I could. Who wants to parade around in leather that barely covers anything?

Silence.

“The defendant permitted the removal of his assigned tattoo.”

“Permitted? I was unconscious. A common state of affairs in this damn place. How was I supposed to stop them? And can I add, it was a tattoo I never consented to in the first place? Just like the contacts. Just like the clothes.”

Still nothing.

“The defendant spent the night in an unauthorized residence.”

Donovan’s place. I didn’t bother commenting on that one.

“The defendant accrued debts at both the nightclub and casino with no intention of paying.”

“I paid.” With my fucking body. I didn’t add that part. It wouldn’t do much for my claim that I wasn’t a rent boy.

“The defendant repeatedly behaved discourteously toward Wonderland personnel.”

“Who?” I challenged.

“The defendant destroyed valuable Wonderland property. In particular, a gold watch.”

“Technically...”

I stopped myself before mentioning Nico. I had no idea whether that would make things better or worse. It was possible his name was still to come on this list of trumped-up charges that went on forever.

“The defendant refused a sexual offer.”

“Oh, pardon me for not sleeping with everyone who so much as breathes in my direction.”

“The defendant repeatedly failed to contribute gossip while visiting The Black Teapot Supper Club.”