Page 50 of Shai

Shai gave a slow nod. “We could go to a restaurant. What’s your favorite food?”

The first non-chemically induced joy I’d felt in a long time started to seep into my chest. Outside the walls, I’d see people. I’d see trees. I’d see birds, maybe I’d even hear them if we went during the day. The list of simple things that I’d missed was almost endless, things I’d always taken for granted. “I like…” I’d been going to say Mexican, but Mexican food was spicy, and Shai had ruined spicy food for me. I’d spend the whole meal wondering if he’d asked them to slip an additional ingredient into it. “I like Italian.”

“Italian it is, then.” He walked across the room, hooking his arms

around my waist to pull our naked bodies together as he stared at me intently. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you smile. Had I known that all it took was a conversation with your sister and an invitation to dinner, I would have organized both earlier.”

I studied him, searching his face for signs of… signs of what?

Manipulation? Lies? “Would you?”

“Of course.” He lowered his head, catching my bottom lip between his

teeth and nipping it, hard enough to sting but not so hard that it hurt. “I only ever want you to be happy.”

My grasp on reality shifted again. Had he thought he was helping me by

getting me hooked on Void? He was certainly looking at me with an expression that bordered on fond. Was it real? Nobody was that good an actor, were they? “When…? Dinner, I mean.”

Shai checked his watch. “I think tomorrow would be better. You’ll be

wanting your next dose of Void in a couple of hours, which means”—he palmed my ass, pressing our lower bodies more tightly together—“the last thing you’ll be concerned about is food.” The fingers of his other hand trailed along my ribcage. “In fact, we need to make sure you’re eating properly. You’ve lost a lot of weight. It must be all those calories you’re burning by turning me into your sex slave.”

Me making him into my sex slave. Wasn’t it the other way around?

Before I could even think about voicing my thoughts aloud, Shai’s tongue was already invading my mouth, drawing me into a long and passionate kiss, my brain racing.

Shai liked me.

Whatever other stuff was going on, and whatever his reasons might

have been for drugging me, he had feelings for me. Therefore, I needed to stop painting him as some sort of unfeeling villain. He might not operate the same way that other people did, but there were reasons for that, reasons he’d shared with me.

Shai released my lips, his fingers still cupping my cheeks. “We’ll get you a new suit to wear, one more expensive than the last one. And a haircut. What do you say? Make you look like a million dollars? Everyone will be jealous because I’ll have you at my side.”

I nodded, feeling more optimistic than I had in ages.

I COULDN’ T DRAG my eyes away from the view outside the window of the Italian restaurant. There were people walking past. Actual people. And there were cars. There was so much life out there, so many things happening in front of my very eyes. It was awe-inspiring and overwhelming all at the same time.

Shai had made good on his promise and I had a new short haircut, a barber turning up at the compound to cut it, and to give me a close shave at the same time. He’d delivered on the suit as well, and I was dressed head to toe in Ralph Lauren. He’d even ensured that dinner was taking place during my period of lucidity. Any other time and I would have been at risk of passing it off as some sort of drug-induced hallucination, or have forgotten it happening altogether. I turned back to the man sat opposite me. “Are we safe sitting here?”

Shai lifted his head from the menu he’d been studying, one eyebrow arched in an inquisitive fashion. “Safe?”

“At the window, I mean?” I gestured toward the back of the restaurant where all the tables were empty. Now that I thought about it, the whole place was empty. Had Shai engineered it that way? “I just thought we might be better off away from prying eyes.”

Shai’s brow furrowed. “And who exactly do you think might be interested in us?”

“McIntyre.” I hated even saying the man’s name. The last thing I wanted was for his presence to be hanging there between us. He’d taken enough from me. He wasn’t going to get to take this as well. “What if he somehow finds out that I’m still alive?”

Shai looked less than pleased at the topic of conversation. “We just got here. Do you want to go home?”

“No! I just…” I stopped talking. Shai had gone to a lot of trouble and I

was already ruining it.

He let out a sigh, his gaze holding mine across the table. “You don’t

need to worry. You’re safe on this side of the river.”