Page 47 of Shai

“Not mine, in case you were worried. We had to rid ourselves of a two-

bit drug dealer who’d decided it wouldn’t be a problem to siphon off some of my trade. You remember what that was like, Elijah, don’t you?”

The expression on his face didn’t alter in the slightest, as if he had

absolutely no recollection of who I might be referring to. He flattened his hands against my chest, his expression pleading. “I need some stuff, Shai. None of your men will give me any.”

I slid my fingers down his cheek and curled them around his chin until I

had a firm grip, holding him still as my gaze bored into his. “They’re under strict instructions not to. The last thing I want is for you to take an overdose. So, for future reference, it’s pointless to offer to suck anyone’s cock except mine. You got that?” I gave his chin a shake for extra emphasis. There was a momentary spark of alarm in his gaze, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared, as if his body no longer knew how to express any other emotion than lust and need.

He wrenched free from my grip, dropping to the floor in an ungainly

heap, his hands already fumbling at the fastenings of my jeans. “Elijah, I didn’t mean…” I didn’t get any further, the protest dying in my throat as his lips slid over the head of my cock, the flesh immediately stiffening at the prospect of a blow job. Considering he’d presumably never sucked a cock before finding himself the subject of my interest, he’d gotten good at it in a short amount of time. Elijah wrapped a hand around the base of my cock, tilting his head back to look me in the eye. “I do this, and then you’ll give me the Void, right?”

I ran my fingers through his hair. It had lost a lot of its luster, the once shiny strands lank, as if the chemicals which made up Void were leaching into every part of his body, which was probably exactly what was happening. He needed a haircut as well. Perhaps I’d shave it off. “I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s been long enough since your last dose.”

There was just time to witness the desperation on Elijah’s face before he buried his face in my groin, his cheek caressing my cock. “Please, Shai.”

I let the silence hang for a few moments. “Okay, just for you.” It was time for his next dose, but the urge to tease and torment was just too strong. Grayson approached as Elijah recommenced the blow job with renewed vigor. I waved him away, closing my eyes and giving myself up to the pleasure of his mouth. My men had watched worse things, and it wasn’t like Elijah cared any more. The only thing he cared about was getting his next fix.

Elijah

LIFE HAPPENED IN SNATCHES NOW, like a montage in a film. It was mainly made up of three periods of time. There was the high, when Shai slid the needle into my vein and the world exploded into color. I was invincible during that time. I laughed. I fucked. I babbled meaningless nonsense, Shai often having to shove his cock down my throat to earn a reprieve from the non-stop words bandied his way. During those periods, I became the whore that Shai had once described me as, nothing mattering except where the next intense orgasm was coming from, even if only minutes had passed since the last one. Void instilled my body with a stamina and libido far in excess of anything I’d ever dreamed of.

There was the point where the craving for more Void kicked in and my

body started to go into withdrawal. Withdrawal symptoms were brutal, my head and muscles aching like I had the flu, and, despite the high temperature of Shai's compound, an inability to get warm signaling when things were starting to get really bad.

Desperation usually sent me in search of Shai. When he wasn’t there, I

tried his men, hoping he might have left one of them with a syringe full of Void and the instruction to give it to me. With my brain addled by a physical and mental craving that far outweighed common sense, I usually refused to believe them when they said they had nothing, offering up anything I thought might get them to change their mind—my mouth, my ass, any empty promise I could think of. I didn’t have pride anymore. I didn’t care when they laughed and pushed me away, or viewed me with barely veiled contempt. I knew I’d do the same the next day. And the day after that. My life consisted of one endless loop in the search for Void.

Neither of those stages were the worst part of the day, though. That came in the spaces between them, the small window of time—no more than a few hours—where I was lucid, where the real Elijah slipped between the cracks and I was left to contemplate what I’d become. It was at those times where I vowed to fight harder, to kick the drug and find my way back to the person I’d once been, the person before Void had filled in all the empty spaces and obliterated everything that was real.

Of course, that desire didn’t last long. As soon as the headache and muscle tremors started up, any thought of change was lost. Until the next time.

I was currently in that stage of lucidity, Shai a warm and solid weight next to me as I stared up at the ceiling. I was trying to decide who I hated more—him or myself? As for Shai, he was currently tracing patterns in the cum splattered across my abdomen. His? Mine? I didn’t know. I couldn’t remember. Probably both. I was drenched in it. I lifted my fingers to my face and wiped them over my cheek and they came away covered in more cum. Definitely Shai’s.

“Why so sad, Elijah?”

I wanted to laugh. Only if I started, I wasn’t sure I’d ever stop. Shai couldn’t really like what I’d turned into, could he? Was this mindless zombie really better than what I’d been before? What had happened to him wanting me to fight? I never fought anymore. I jumped on his cock like it was the answer to all of my prayers.

Did I hate him? Or was I grateful? He was the one who gave me the Void. Without him, I wouldn’t have it. Only, if he hadn’t gotten me hooked on it in the first place, I wouldn’t need it, would I? Confusion rolled around my brain like an insidious cloud intent on dampening my thoughts. Perhaps lucidity wasn’t the most accurate description of my current state.

When I didn’t respond, Shai rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow to stare at me, his gaze boring into the side of my face. “How can I cheer you up?”

Kill me. Let me overdose. “You can’t.”

Shai’s breath was hot against my ear as he leaned in. He turned his head to drop a quick kiss on my cheek before rolling me onto my side, so that he could pull me into him, my back plastered to his front. “Are you cold?”

I shook my head. Not yet. Once the need for more Void kicked in, I

would be. It always felt like my veins were slowly filling with ice, so different to that first cold slide of the drug as it entered my bloodstream before warming my body from the inside.

Shai’s sigh ruffled my hair. I was irritating him, instinct warning me that

that was never a good idea. Only I was too tired, too numb, to do anything about it.