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I debated telling her it was fucked up, but I appreciated her honestly.

C++98 - I’m glad you had a great weekend and I got to see you again.

C++98 - How’s Amsterdam?

The bubble that she was typing popped up and the tension I had been holding onto slowly left my body as we continued chatting. I didn’t know what it was about Vi, but she made everything feel right. I just wished she wanted more because, despite my feelings for Matteo, Vi felt right. If I was being honest, when the three of us were together, it felt perfect.

12. Violeta

And another asshole bites the dust.

The Swiss Alps were one of the most beautiful places I had ever been to. Switzerland was green, gorgeous, and life seemed to move slower here. I woke up early so I could hike up a mountain and enjoy the sunrise.

It was the most gorgeous sunrise I had ever experienced.

The stillness in the morning as the sun brought light to land felt like my life. I had only been in Europe, but I felt the subtle shift happening. My life was feeling like my own again, but more than that, I truly felt alive for the first time.

Lorenzo felt like a distant memory, one that felt like a dream. If I had married him, my life would not have been my own. I don’t know why I had thought it was a good idea to marry him with this pressure to do what I thought I had to do. I couldn’t even blame my parents solely for thinking getting married was the next step in life I had to check off. My parents’ approval wasn’t worth that and I should have known better. Nothing was ever good enough for my parents.

I took a few pictures, sending one to Mario. My finger hovered over the Rendezvous app, wondering if I should send a picture to Levi. Before I lost my nerve I sent him a selfie with the sunrise in the back.

XOXO22: Isn’t it gorgeous?

It was early and I didn’t expect a response back, but I got one immediately.

C++98: Yeah, stunning. The sunrise is pretty too.

My cheeks heated from his compliment.

XOXO22: Such a charmer so early in the morning. Why are you up?

C++98: I haven’t slept yet. I have a bug in this program and I can’t figure it out.

XOXO22: Levi! Go to sleep. You need to rest that brain and I’m sure when you wake up you’ll find it.

C++98: I know, but I’m so close to finding it.

XOXO22: The code is blurring together by now. Go to sleep and it will be so much easier to find.

C++98: You’re right. Thanks for the lovely picture.

C++98: Where are you going next?

XOXO22: Italy. I’m thinking Milan maybe Lake Como, but it’s expensive to stay there.

Levi didn’t respond right away—he probably fell asleep. I set my phone down to enjoy the rest of the sunrise. I took out a pastry and drank from my thermos of tea. The cool night faded away as the sun warmed the air. I took a moment to take a few deep breaths, closed my eyes, and enjoyed the stillness, the quiet of being all alone.

It was one of the best mornings I had had while in Europe, and I made myself a promise, I needed to do this more often, enjoy the small things.

My phone buzzed and I saw a message from Levi.

C++98: Staying in Lake Como is expensive, but let me see what I can do. Let me know when you decide to leave for Italy. Good night.

XOXO22: I know you probably don’t need it, but I can look at the code if you like. Just as a second pair of eyes.

C++98: Thanks Vi, I might take you up on that offer.

XOXO22: Good night