Page 38 of XOXO

Fuck, I was pathetic.

I grabbed some clothes to change into and packed my bag, looking around the room, making sure I left nothing behind. The bed’s rumpled sheets brought back memories of everything we had done. My stomach flip-flopped at how great the sex was. My cheeks grew hot as I imagined all the things we had done and could try next time, but there would be no next time. Vi had made sure of that.

Taking a deep breath, I left the room to see Matteo sitting on the sofa staring out into nothing.

“Good morning,” I said, my voice still rough from sleep.

“Morning,” he said, shaking his head. “You ready? We still have time before we need to go to the airport.”

“Yeah, I think I'd like to head to the airport so I can shower before we leave back to Paris,” I said, pushing my glasses up my nose.

“She left,” Matteo stated.

“Yeah I know, she left her signature farewell,” I said, holding up her note from my pocket.

He nodded looking down. “Tried to get her to stay, but she was deadset on leaving.”

Was Matteo sad she left?

“I wish someone had woken me up to at least say goodbye,” I said, sounding slightly bitter.

“Sorry,” he said, standing up, still not looking at me. “It seemed like she hated goodbyes.”

I scoffed, not buying that excuse. “It was time for her to move on.”

Matteo lifted his bag. “Let’s go. We can have a meal and a cocktail before we leave.”

“Ok,” I said, walking out with him. “The tent was nice, but I miss having a bathroom to myself. I’m ready to head back to Paris.”

“I won’t be going back to Paris,” Matteo said as we walked to the parking lot.

“What? Why?” I tried not to sound hurt.

Vi had left and now Matteo was making me feel like something was wrong with me. Did he regret the weekend?

“I need to head to Milan and all my work is done in Paris for now,” he said rounding the car we rented. “Paola will be in town and I haven’t seen her in a few months.”

We tossed our things in the backseat and got in.

“Are you going to Greece?” It was stupid to ask, but right now I might have been spiraling.

“What? Of course,” he said, finally looking at me.

“Ok, good,” I said, looking away, attempting to keep my dignity intact.

Matteo studied me for a moment before taking off. The drive to the airport was quiet and uncomfortable. My mind was running wild at why Matteo was leaving and not coming back with me like said he was originally going to.

What the hell was happening? Was it me? Was I the problem?

Being a platinum airline member had its perks, but it didn’t help the fact that I was coming back to Paris alone. It wasn’t the first time I had come home alone or been alone in our Paris home. Matteo and I rarely worked in the same city and when we were, we didn’t see each other often.

So why the fuck was I so upset he left to Milan?

“Get your shit together,” I murmured to myself as I opened the door to our home.

It was too quiet as I entered. Gold light dusted the living room and while this was my favorite time of the day, nothing could take away my melancholy. I ate dinner quickly, worked on a few apps before calling it an early night.

That’s how life was for the next few days. Work, eat, run, or work out and sleep. The urge to call Matteo grew until I needed to hear someone’s voice or talk with someone that wasn’t a coworker. I opened Rendezvous to Vi’s chat because I couldn’t get her out of my head.