Page 110 of XOXO

“That all sounds delicious,” I said, wondering if she would ever get a chance to cook for us.

“If you ever come to the states, visit me and I’ll cook for you,” she said softly. “It’s the least I could do for you guys spoiling me out here.”

“Then maybe we will need to make a trip out there to enjoy your food,” I said, leaning towards her.

“That would be great, when I am home, if I go home,” she said, grabbing my empty plate and stacking it on hers.

“I’m sorry things have been weird,” I said quickly. “I have been worrying about things too much and it’s been messing with my head.”

“You’re giving me whiplash,” she said, getting up. “I didn’t understand why you wanted me here if you wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me. Sometimes you take me to bed, ravish me and it's back to square one.”

“These big choices I have to make are screwing with me,” I said, getting up to help her clean. “I know I haven’t been handling it well, but…I hate to use this as an excuse. Ever since I left the military, things have been difficult for me. I feel like I have changed, but not for the better. It’s like I’m unsure about so many things. My mind is full of scenarios and decisions that make me second-guess everything.”

“That's understandable, but you can talk to me. Don’t shut me out, and if you want me to sign an NDA, then just ask,” she said, rinsing our dishes. “I can’t imagine what you go through and if me signing one helps you feel better, then I’ll do it.”

“You heard your conversation,” I stated.

“I heard the tail end of what Matteo told you,” she said, leaning against the sink looking at me. “I have enough drama in my life and I would never want to put you in that position, because I can’t imagine what it's like to be scrutinized at the level you are. I also have no desire to put myself in a position where someone knows where I am. I left home and I wish not to be found until I am ready.”

“What does that mean? What are you running from?” Every cell in my body went into protective mode. “If it’s⁠—”

My phone vibrated and rang loudly. I glanced at the screen and saw my agent’s phone number. The clock on the stove said I had forty minutes to make it to my meeting.

“Look, if you⁠—”

“I’m fine and safe,” she said walking to me. “Go have your meeting and we can talk about this later. I have a tour to get to.”

She smiled, leaning up to kiss me. I deepened the kiss, but my brain wasn’t going to let go of what she had said. Still, I had no choice but to leave.

“I’m a phone call away if you need me,” I said, pulling away.

“I know,” she smirked. “I have all your numbers saved, and I’ll send you pictures so you know I’m safe.”

“Good,” I said, feeling like I shouldn’t leave her. “I’ll see you later.”

She blew me a kiss as I left for my room. She settled a part of me only to make me worry about what mess she was running from. Tonight, we would talk about everything because I hated surprises.

My agent was furious with me as I arrived later than expected. He was about to lecture me when a woman greeted me, leading me away.

“I need to speak to Ruwon,” he growled.

“We need to get through this fitting quickly, my boss also has a schedule to adhere to,” she said smoothly.

“You didn’t answer any of my texts or calls,” he said in Korean.

“I was running late, there was no point if I was going to see you anyway,” I responded, as they guided me to a room to undress. “What’s so important that you need to speak to me immediately?”

“I see you haven’t been on the internet lately?” he snapped.

“I never do, just like you’ve told me not to,” I snapped back, getting tired of his attitude.

“Mr. Moon, we will try these on first and then move onto⁠—”

My agent’s phone rang and he walked out to take it, his face tense and a bad feeling overwhelmed me. I grabbed my phone to look up my name, but it was quickly taken away as they took my measurements and dressed me.

After I was back in my clothes, I met with the designer who wanted me to walk for him in Paris Fall Fashion Week. He talked about his vision as we had a light lunch. Mr. Jauncey was funny, witty and laid-back, one of the few designers I had met who wasn’t posh and snooty.

“I have another meeting I must attend, Mr. Jauncey, but I appreciate the clothes and the lunch. I can’t wait until fashion week,” I said, holding out my hand.