Page 84 of Then We Shatter

I add unhealthy amounts of sugar to each mug and swirl the teabags while I stew on his words. Ash had tried talking me out of it before I was rushed into surgery, but when he’d left the hospital, it was to manage the news of my death.

My hospital records have since been erased and only the Griffins and Rory know I’m alive and well. As for the rest, some think I died in Colorado and others carry the secret that I died at the hands of the Bratva. So far, those very distinct layers of deceit remain intact, and even Vasili has kept quiet about our shoot out for fear of incurring my dad’s wrath.

“The only way I’ll regret anything is if I put my family through all this and still don’t get to save Kitty.” I step towards the fridge. “Did you bring fresh milk?”

Ash looks affronted. “What kind of friend do you take me for? I put all the groceries away before I came looking for you.”

“Ah, you’re a good man,” I say. “I do appreciate everything you’re doing for me, big fella. I know lying to my dad doesn’t sit right with you, but I love her, Ash.”

“Figured as much,” he says. “And I do get it. I’d do the same.”

I’m about to reply when I open the fridge to find it packed tight with food, including what I recognize as the lemon drizzle cake his housekeeper makes. “I might also love Connie. If I wasn’t deceased, I’d ask you to give her a big kiss from me. With tongues.”

He shakes his head. “Only you could be more irritating when you’re dead than when you were alive. No wonder I’m ready to retire.”

It’s delivered as a throwaway comment, but his blank expression doesn’t fool me. I return to the counter and add a splash of milk to our tea. I squeeze the teabags until the color of our brews are as deep as one of Shelley’s spray tans.

“You’re actually doing it, aren’t you?” I ask, handing a mug to my friend.

Ash is another one whose life led him along paths not of his choosing and he’s been itching to step away from the empire he built. “It’s the perfect time to let our respective brothers forge their own alliances, don’t you think?”

“The end of an era,” I agree as the weight of my actions hits me in the chest, and not for the first time. “I’d feel guilty for what’s landed on Malachy’s shoulders if I didn’t strongly suspect he had it coming.”

I’ve shared my suspicions with my friend, but Ash hasn’t found any evidence to either support or disprove the theory that Malachy betrayed us.

“Whether or not he fed the information to Vasili, John isn’t going to be happy with either of us,” Ash warns. “Please don’t fuck up my retirement plans, Killian. Stay dead long enough for your family to get used to living without either of us.”

“You know me.”

“I do know you. That’s why I’m saying it. Any risks we take need to be careful and considered.”

“What risks?” I ask innocently. “You can’t kill a dead man. And if this contact is who I think she is, she’s the one taking the risks, and she’s doing it for Katarina. She’s my way in.”

Chapter 32

Katarina

Now

Our hands are tightly clasped, but my bloodied palm makes our grip slippery. We use our free hands to claw at the ledge, but it isn’t enough. The wave that brought Killian to me drags him back again. Or tries to.

No. Fucking. Way.

I dig in my heels. “Don’t you dare let go!”

Killian’s jaw is clenched too tight to reply but he holds on long enough for the tide to turn, and with the next wave that crashes against the side of the island, I drag him up. It should be enough, but his bulletproof vest snags on the rocks and he’s stuck halfway out. The bastard ocean tries to reclaim him again, and as his free hand slips off the rocks, I almost lose my footing. There’s resignation in Killian’s eyes as he tries to let go of my hand too, not wanting to pull me in with him.

“No! You got this far. You hold on!” I scream at him.

I find better footholds and grab Killian’s vest with one hand and then the other. He grips the ledge. We hold on. We hold, and hold, and then… Killian’s roar rises above the crash of sea water as the next wave hits. Our combined strength and determination slams me backwards with Killian on top of me. I should crack my skull, but his hand shoots beneath my head just in time and he takes the impact.

His knuckles crunch beneath me and his hand must hurt like hell, but it’s just one more wound to add to many. We’ve both taken a beating since launching ourselves off the cliff. I’m covered in cuts and grazes, my hands sliced to ribbons, and my muscles burn with exertion. I don’t even want to think about the incessant buzz of that damned vibrator.

Killian’s exhausted and his full weight is on top of me, crushing my chest, but I don’t care that I can’t breathe. I stare up at the man who has appeared like a vision from dreams I never dared dream. He’s not just alive. He’s indestructible. And when Killian McConkey smiles, stars sparkle across my vision. The sparkles get bigger, blocking my vision.

Ah. That might be because I can’t…

“I can’t breathe,” I gasp.