Page 113 of The Amber Sunburst

“Nothing is wrong, Alexander, would you just leave it?”

“No.”

“You have to trust me,” Kallias barks. When he stops on their floor and turns to look back, he’s more visibly upset than Alexander has ever seen him.

How can I when you won’t let me know you? is on the tip of Alexander’s tongue, but he holds it in. Because that isn’t true, is it?

Sure, he doesn’t know how Kallias grew up, how he got to the Academy. But he knows what Kallias’ smile looks like in the dead of night. He knows every twitch of his brow. He knows more about Kallias than anyone he has ever met. He knows him well enough to know he has secrets—too many of them.

“I do trust you.” Alexander leans against the entrance to their floor. “But I’m also worried about you.”

The anger seeps from Kallias’ face until nothing but apathy is left. “It’s not your concern.”

“Then whose is it? Because you don’t seem concerned for yourself.” Kallias turns to continue ascending the stairs and Alexander shouts from their hall, “Someone has to fucking care about you!”

“Goodnight, Alexander,” he hears reverberating against the staircase’s walls.

The message is clear in Kallias’ tone: This is over.

“Kallias,” he calls, more sad than angry. His tone is clear too: I don’t want it to be.

It feels remarkably like déjà vu.

When he gets back to his room, everyone eyes him curiously.

“Did you find him?” Ophelia eventually asks.

“Yes,” Alexander replies, not elaborating. The expression on his face must speak for itself because no one bothers him for the rest of the night.

30

ZENO

“Dude, are you okay?” Zeno asks Alexander, who’s still moping in bed at seven twenty.

“Huh? Yeah, whatever, I’m fine.”

“Did something happen last night? Between you and Kallias?”

Alexander sighs. “I guess, yeah. I just hope nothing’s different today.”

“You make a move?”

That gets Alexander to sit up straight, his hair still floppy without his usual preening.

“On Kallias?”

Zeno tries not to smile. Does Alexander really think they don’t see how useless he is around that boy?

“No, nothing like that,” Alexander says, rubbing his eyes. “I just pushed too hard and he’s,” Alexander sighs again with a shrug, “secretive, you know?”

Then he whispers, “I’m never going to be able to help him.”

Zeno’s heart aches. “Some people won’t let you help. It’s not your job to make them.”

He knows he’s a hypocrite—he does the exact same thing with Eudoxia—but he rarely sees Alexander so distressed. Zeno just wants to fix it.

“I know, I just lo— I like him. A lot. And I want him to be okay.”