Page 246 of May: Bloom & Bane

You’re exhausted, he says. We just lost our—you lost a lot of blood, Ash.

I start running again, but I make note of the missing square of time. We’re a third of the way there when it stops being something I can ignore. I’m relying on the bond more than my eyes, steering toward the thin thread of her the way a man crawls toward the faint scent of woodsmoke in a blizzard.

Every time I bring up the fact that we’re losing time, Sage shuts down. Shadow and gold writhe against each other under our skin.

Quit stalling, and move! Sage yells.

“Excuse me for trying to point out that something is happening to us,” I snap. “We can’t pretend this isn’t happening. That didn’t go over very well last night with Eden.”

Don’t, he warns.

“If you had just let me tell her, she would have heard all of it. Instead she heard a few, strangled words of it, in the worst possible order and now—” I gesture to my chest, where the bond is barely pulsing. “Look at what’s happened.”

You think I don’t see it? His guilt slams into me. You think I’m not standing here watching our bond grow colder, knowing my hands are the ones that did it? I have to live in here with that. I don’t get to run it off like you⁠—

“Well, I’m sorry that you’ve been stuck in my body for one vreshing day,” I hiss. “I’ve been stuck inside yours since we were reborn.”

He goes silent. And I don’t have the energy to fight with him about it anymore.

Suddenly I’m standing still in a part of the meadow I don’t recognize, and I don’t know how I got here. I don’t know why I’m here.

The woods are silent and enormous around me, and there is a pull in my chest, a thin insistent tug reeling me toward something, and I don’t know what’s at the end of it. My hand drifts up to my chest, to a warmth I can’t account for.

Ashán, a frightened voice inside of me calls. Ashán, say her name.

“Whose name?” I whisper.

The voice in my head makes a helpless sound.

Eden, he says. Her name is Eden. You’re going to Eden. Say it with me.

“Why do you want me to say her name?”

Eden—our mate. She’s pregnant with our baby. Vaelína. You named her, Ash. Please, I know you’re in there. This is the curse. Come back to the front, come back to me⁠—

The warmth on my chest flares, and it comes back all at once. Eden, green eyes, cinnamon freckles, her hand on my jaw and her belly warm against my shadow. Our daughter reaching for me through the dark.

I sprint through the meadow, tears falling down my face.

“I forgot her,” I choke out. “I told you something was happening, Sage.”

I know, he rasps. I should have listened to you. I’m sorry. But I’ve been thinking… the curse is only targeting the reaper half of our blood.

“It couldn’t make me hurt her,” I rasp. “The curse learned that I would cut myself to pieces before I touched her. It’s going to make me forget her, Sage. Bleed her out of me one memory at a time, until there’s no her left to protect. A weapon doesn’t refuse a target it can’t remember loving…”

If you forget again, I will remind you. I will hold her for both of us. We just have to work together.

Frost clings to the passing trees. The air sharpens with the bright mineral scent of fresh snow.

We’re almost there, Ash.

CHAPTER 74

a ledger of my own

—SEVAHN

In a realm far from here⁠—