Page 135 of May: Bloom & Bane

“Where am I?”

“You’re dreaming,” he answers. “Your body is still with Sage. But here—” he gestures to the endless dark around us, “—you’re in my domain.”

I glance around the void.

“I wanted to talk with you, alone, before…” He takes a step closer.

“Your rut,” I answer.

His eyes flare. “Yes. This is the only place I can pull you where he can’t follow.”

His silhouette is even taller and broader than Sage’s.

“I can’t really see you, Ash. But I want to.”

The darkness ripples, and I can sense his hesitation.

“I don’t have a form to show you yet,” he admits quietly. “Not until my first full cycle starts. My reaper form is still dormant.”

“Then what am I seeing?”

“A placeholder,” he says. “A shadow of what I will be when I finally ascend.”

The silhouette moves closer, and the temperature drops.

“But you can feel me, can’t you?” His voice wraps around me. “Even without a body to touch.”

There’s no doubt that I can feel the weight of his attention focused entirely on me.

“Yes,” I whisper. “I feel you.”

“Good.” The shadow drifts closer. “I wanted you to know me, just me, before I claim you. Not just as a voice in his head.”

“Ash, I’ve talked to you before.”

“You have. But I’ve never been able to shift more than half my body at a time. So even when it’s my voice… it’s his body,” his voice cracks. “When I’m finally able to mark you as ním, I need you to know it’s ME who’s doing it. I need to know you want me, and that you don’t tolerate me because you love him.”

“Ashán, I don’t tolerate you. I love you. Both of you.”

His shadow stills.

“You saved me,” I continue. “In the meadow with the Horsemen. When War broke into the house. You’ve been taking care of me this whole time. How could I not want you?”

“You love me?” he repeats, his eyes blazing blue. The shadow shoots forward, and the weight of his presence wraps around me like a heavy, velvet ribbon.

“Say it again,” he demands. “Please, ash’kaela. Say it again.”

“I love you, Ashán.”

The darkness shudders around me, and something wet drips against my awareness.

Can shadows cry?

“I will worship you,” he vows. “Every drop of your blood. Every beat of your heart.”

“I know,” I whisper into the void. “I trust you.”

The warmth lingers for a moment longer, then slowly recedes.