Page 91 of Dark Verse

This horrible feeling that was descending on me fully clamps down on my heart. Knox is speaking to Vallejo and Okrent, but my focus has narrowed to the social media photo of Gillian. She looks completely innocuous. Light brown eyes, light brown hair, a slight tan on her otherwise pale skin from the obvious outdoor location. I’m trying to square this image with that violent shadow that stabbed at me, likely aiming for my heart with that first blow.

“We’re still waiting for the warrant to come through from the judge, but that should happen today. We’ll be able to look through all her social media accounts and other private documents once we have that,” Okrent is explaining when I drag myself back to the present conversation.

I stand quickly, three pairs of eyes turning to me as I do.

“Umm…I need a minute. I’m sorry.”

I turn from them and leave the room, unsure of where I’m going. I feel like I need to puke and lie down at the same time. Completely on autopilot, I climb the steps, and I’m walking into Knox’s bedroom before I can stop myself.

I look around the bright space. Someone has been through here to clean. The bed frame is where it always was, but the mattress is missing. The large area rug is also gone, the old wooden planks scrubbed to within an inch of their lives. Despite the warm feeling in the space, I am cold. A sudden fear impulse hits me, and I cross over to the closet, throwing the door open. I don’t know what I expected to see, but seeing the bare floor deflates me.

Did you sit right there watching us? Or were you standing at the back listening to us the entire time?

The sound of movement distracts me from my racing thoughts, and I turn as Knox enters the room.

“There you are, sweetheart.”

“Hi,” I respond.

“The police are gone. They’ll call us when there are more details.” He watches me for a few silent moments before saying, “I’ve got us set up in the downstairs bedroom.”

“Okay,” I say, not moving from my spot.

“I didn’t figure you would want to stay in this room.”

“I don’t.”

His expression pinches. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” I answer too quickly.

Knox crosses over to me and gently touches my right shoulder. It’s only then that I realize my body is shivering like I have a cold.

“Talk to me, Venny.”

I open my mouth to speak, but this broken sob comes out instead. He pulls me into his chest. The pressure makes the wound in my shoulder burn, but I don’t want him to let go.

“She was here, Knox,” I finally manage.

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

“I…I can’t be in here.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

But even as we leave the room and take the steps to the first floor, I know it won’t be enough. For all I know, Gillian searched every room in this house. Her DNA could be on anything. On everything. Everything we pass at once feels unfamiliar and tainted somehow. Knox gets me to the bed, pulling the blankets up around my shoulders. But I know there is no rest for me inside these walls.

“I can’t.”

I sit up, my whole body aching in the process.

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t sleep here, Knox. I can’t…I feel like she’s still here. Still watching me.”

“You heard what the police said. They’re sure she left the city.”

I actually don’t remember them saying that, lost in my spiraling thoughts.