Page 169 of Wait for Him

I can't start this by comparing the woman standing in front of me to the woman who isn't here.

I set the card facedown on the table and I'm out the door before I can think better of it, taking the stairs because the elevator is too fucking slow for a decision I'm not entirely convinced I won't talk myself out of before I reach the lobby.

Rian is just stepping toward an idling Uber when I shove through the doors.

"Rian!"

She turns.

I don't give myself time to reconsider. I cross the sidewalk, take her face in my hands and kiss her.

Her breath catches against my mouth.

I haven't kissed her like this since that night on her hotel balcony. I've been intimate with her in every other way we've allowed ourselves to be, but never this. Kissing her always felt different. Too close. Like giving away something I'd already given to somebody else.

My intimacy was for Rose.

My Rose.

Except she isn't my Rose anymore. I hate how much that hurts even while I'm kissing another woman.

Rian melts into me, her hands sliding into my hair as she kisses me back, and we're making a scene on a public sidewalk while her driver very politely develops an intense interest in his phone.

I let it happen.

More than that, I make it happen.

Because if I'm doing this, I'm not giving Rian scraps anymore.

I pull back just enough to look at her.

"I'm sorry," I whisper against her lips. "I'll call you tomorrow and we'll talk. Properly. Okay?"

I kiss her once more, softer this time. She nods, and the smile that spreads across her face is the first one I've ever seen reach all the way to her eyes.

Jesus, she's beautiful.

I wish seeing that smile did more to me than it does.

Maybe it will eventually.

That's the gamble I'm making now.

"Get your fine ass in the car and text me when you're home."

She laughs and slides into the back seat, and I stand on the sidewalk watching the taillights until they disappear around the corner.

Tomorrow I'll call her.

We'll talk.

And I'm going to try.

Really fucking try.

***

"Oh my god," Blaire whispers.