Page 48 of Finding Home

Meg searched Julie’s face. “I wish you’d said something. I didn’t want to make you feel worse by bringing it up.”

“I thought I had to deal with everyone’s rejection on my own,” Julie said carefully. “I lost my confidence. To be honest, I never thought I’d get another job.”

Daniel’s mouth dropped open. “How can you say that, Mom? You’ve got more experience than most people have on their little finger. The kids I went to school with got sick of me bragging about my cool mom who was working on the other side of the country, writing about the bad guys.”

It was Julie’s turn to be surprised. “I thought you didn’t like me being away from home.”

Daniel shrugged. “I didn’t, and I wouldn’t do that to Maddie. But I was really proud of you.”

While Julie was still processing what he’d said, Daniel asked when she was starting, what types of stories she’d be covering, and whether the paper had the resources to support serious investigations.

Julie answered each question carefully, and as she did, the shape of her job became clearer. It wasn’t just a job. It was the right job. The one that made the most of who she was.

When she finished talking, Meg and Daniel were both quiet.

“Even though we don’t tell you this often, Mom, we think you’re amazing,” Daniel said.

Julie looked into her children’s faces. They were so like her in looks and personality, that it broke her heart to realize she’d spent most of her life away from them.

“There’s something else I want to say,” she said. “While I have you both together.”

She hadn’t planned any of her apology. She had turned it over the way she turned over difficult paragraphs, put it down, and come back to it. But there was no way to write her words as a first draft. She just had to say it.

“Being here has made me think about the years I wasn’t there for you,” Julie told them. “For either of you. When you were growing up.” She tried to keep her voice steady. “I was always chasing a story. There was always somewhere I needed to be, something I needed to find out. I told myself I was doing it for us. That you understood.” She paused. “I don’t know if you understood. I know I missed things I can’t get back. And I am sorry for that.”

The silence that followed wasn’t empty. It was the kind that was full of something being considered.

Daniel spoke first. “We always knew you loved us.”

“I know that now,” Julie said. “I just didn’t want to wait any longer to apologize to you and Meg.”

Meg looked silently into the camera. When she spoke, Julie knew it was from her heart. “I used to wish you were at more things,” she said. “But I also saw how hard you worked, and I read your articles when I was old enough to understand them. You were good at it, Mom. The kind of good that matters. I don’t think you should have given that up just to be at more school plays. Dad was always there, so that made a difference.”

Julie blinked. She hadn’t expected her children to forgive her so easily.

“What I would like,” Daniel said, “is more news about what’s happening in your life now. Texts and emails aren’t the same. We should do this more often.”

“We should come and see you,” Meg said. “I want to see Sapphire Bay, and I want to see the lake.”

“Why don’t you come for Christmas?” Julie suggested. “It isn’t that far away. We could celebrate my new job properly. I’ve got a guest room and a foldout sofa.”

Daniel leaned forward. “We’ll make it work.”

Meg was already glancing at something off-screen. “I can do December 22 to January 3. Is that okay with everyone else?”

Julie nodded. “That sounds perfect to me. What about you, Daniel?”

“We were planning a quiet Christmas at home, so Maddie, Joshua, and I will be there,” he said.

Julie made a note on the pad beside her laptop. She underlined it twice. “I’ll remind you both until you’re sick of me saying anything.”

Meg looked back at the camera. “That’s fine by me. Now tell us about the new man in your life.”

Julie looked up.

“Don’t fudge the truth,” Meg said. “You mentioned meeting someone in your last email and then said nothing else about him. We’ve been very patient.”

Daniel folded his arms. “Extremely patient.”