Page 41 of Finding Home

“And before that, Maria came with some chicken pasta salad and stood in my kitchen until I’d eaten half of it.” He paused. “She pulled up a chair and sat there while I ate.”

Julie shrugged. “She’s like that. It’s her way of telling you she cares.”

“I know that now.” Cole set his glasses down.

The last couple of days had been so different from his usual routine, that it was hard to describe how it made him feel. He’d been surprised when Beth had left the casserole at his door with a handwritten note tucked under the lid

Since he’d been home, Pastor John had called to check on him twice. Even Noah had stayed an extra hour after he’d been discharged from the hospital to make sure he had what he needed.

“I’ve never had people do this,” Cole told Julie softly. “Not like this. Not showing up without being asked.” His throat tightened unexpectedly. “I don’t know what to do with it.”

Cole had built things across four decades and seven states. He’d sat across from investors, commissioners, and lawyers and held himself together through worse than this by a considerable margin.

But Beth’s handwritten note had brought tears to his eyes. It was still on his kitchen counter, and he hadn’t moved it.

When Julie spoke, her voice was level and careful in the way it got when she was offering something that mattered. “You just let people help,” she said. “That’s all.”

He looked at her. He understood, from the way she said it, that she was telling him something she’d had to learn herself. That she wasn’t speaking from the outside of this feeling, but from somewhere inside it.

Cole reached across the table and rested his hand near hers. Not quite touching, but close enough.

She turned her hand over. He held it, and the tightness in his throat didn’t go away, but it changed into something that was easier to carry.

“I keep thinking I should be past this by now,” he said. “It’s been two days and I’ve barely managed to get dressed before eight.”

“You had a serious procedure on your heart,” Julie said. “Your body is doing the hard work right now so you can go back to work later. In another week, you’ll be frustrated you can’t do more, and in four weeks you’ll drive back to Finley Point and wonder what you were so worried about.”

Cole sighed. “That all sounds too easy. How do you know that will happen?”

Julie met his gaze. “Because you don’t leave things unfinished.”

Cole looked at their joined hands, at the table, at the unremarkable kitchen of a cottage he’d rented for a year and somehow started to think of as his. “Thank you,” he said. “For being here. For all of it.”

Julie didn’t wave off his words. She just nodded, and that was enough.

Chapter 27

Cole sat beside his brother as James drove down the gravel track that led to their grandfather’s cabin.

“We don’t have to do this,” James said.

“I know, but it’s important.” Cole looked through the windshield at the canopy of trees above them. James had arrived yesterday. They’d talked for a few hours last night, until Cole’s exhaustion took over. As soon as he’d woken up, he knew he had to talk to his brother about how he’d felt after their granddad died.

James parked Cole’s truck in front of the cabin. They sat there for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.

“It’s more run down than I imagined,” James said softly.

Cole studied the sagging veranda, the weather-beaten siding that would need a major overhaul. But beneath the rotten timber was a solid foundation and framing that would withstand more than one winter.

“It’s sturdier than it looks. Granddad built a solid cabin.” Cole stepped out of the truck. The cold hit him first. It was sharper than he’d expected, the kind that came off the mountains and didn’t apologize for itself. He stood with one hand on the truck door and let his body register the air, the stillness, and the sound of the pine trees.

James stood beside him. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” He wasn’t. Cole’s chest felt heavier than it should, and his legs were slower than he wanted them to be. But he started walking, and that was enough.

James caught up in a few strides. They walked toward the cabin side by side, neither of them speaking.

Without thinking, Cole crouched in front of the steps to get the key. A dull pain shot across his chest. He paused and took a deep, steadying breath.