Page 60 of Scoring Eden

We stumble through it together, and I slam it shut behind us so hard that it rattles the framework. It doesn’t make me feel any more secure, though, even as I lock it and bundle us up the stairs to our apartment.

Macon’s face is a mess of rolling tears, his lower lip quivering. The only reason I’m not crying myself is the adrenaline roaring through my system, but I can feel them building, ready to burst at a moment’s notice.

“Mom, who were those people?”

I can’t answer him.

Fear, anger, and guilt burn through my veins, paralyzing me in place.

I did this.

This is all my fault.

It’s my decisions that led to the paparazzi being out there. This wouldn’t have happened at all if I hadn’t made the most reckless decision of my life and agreed to this ridiculous ploy with Alex.

It was me that made us late this morning. Me that told him to wait for me in the car. It’s my fault that he was all alone out there. It is my selfishness that has caused him pain.

Sebastian is right about that, at least.

I am selfish.

And so fucking naive.

Not only did I think I would be able to protect him from the paparazzi, but I thought that this whole scheme would be worth it if I got to keep my son at the end of it. I thought the hardest thing we’d endure would be keeping track of the lies and trying to keep them away from Macon. I never considered that this would happen.

But it’s obvious now that my desperation has done nothing but put him in an even worse position.

So, I just hold him. There’s nothing I can do to make this better for him. And as his tears splash from his face onto my neck, my own leak rapidly down my cheeks.

Macon sniffs, lifting his head from my shoulder. “Do I still have to go to school?”

“No, baby.” Despite everything, the innocence of his question makes me smile. “I’ll call them soon to let them know. But we can’t go out there again. You know that, right?”

“That’s okay. I don’t want to see those people again anyway. They were mean and scary.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” My heart crumples like paper in a waste basket. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Why? It’s not your fault.”

If only he knew.

I flick the brim of his fedora and fake a smile. “I need to work out how I’m going to get them to go away.”

“Okay, can I call Aunt Aspen? She always cheers me up.” He dries his tears with his sleeves and flutters his eyelashes at me. “And can I have some Oreos?”

I nod, watching him skip back to his bedroom as if the last fifteen minutes didn’t happen at all.

It’s crazy how children always seem to have such unwavering resilience in the face of terrible things. They’ll melt down about dinner not being what they wanted or that you cut their sandwiches into the wrong shapes, but when it comes to anything of real weight, they’re always able to bounce back so much faster than adults.

I don’t understand it, but I’m glad for it now.

Alex: I’m outside. Can you let me up?

Eden: Aren’t you supposed to be at practice?

Alex: Aspen called and told me what was going on, so I left. Buzz me in please.

Of course she did. I should really get my sister to delete his number. While I am hesitant to ask the man for anything, she clearly has no qualms with it at all. Not that I’m mad. I would have called him myself if I wasn’t worried about disturbing him at work.