Page 40 of Delirium 2

I sparked fire to the blunt, blew on it a little, and pulled from it, eyes centered on Zeke and his bitch. Not because I wanted them to be. Couldn’t help it. They were standing right in front of me. He was supposed to be getting the bitch out the crib, yet he was arguing with her. Zeke didn’t have control over his ho. Not because he couldn’t. I knew the niggas M.O. He didn’t have control over her because he didn’t want to have control over her. He loved that wild, toxic shit. I didn’t willingly know the niggas business. He shared. Overshared. Every time him and Ray got into it, he fucked her silly. Did her dirty. Pissed on her, spit in her mouth… wild shit like that. And she was with it all. The toxic shit was just a part of their fourplay. What she didn’t play about was him fucking other bitches, which was why shit shifted the minute he referenced doing so.

Zeke grabbed her again. “Man, carry yo ass on, bro.”

She snatched away. “Who you been fucking, nigga?” She looked to me. “X… he fucking Mina again? You saw them⁠—”

“You out yo mind or what?” Zeke interrupted. “Don’t talk to that nigga, dumb ass.”

He snatched her up and dragged her out of the crib.

Good.

I didn’t have shit for the bitch. Honestly, I was surprised she’d even addressed me on that type of time. We didn’t have a relationship. Whenever we saw one another, we spoke and that was it. People left me alone because my energy told them to. I was unapproachable. I set shit up that way. Any time I was in a room, I put up an energetic barrier. Didn’t have to frown. Didn’t have to cross my arms. Just… blocked them.

The front door slammed closed the same time my phone vibrated.

I pulled from the blunt, leaned up a little and grabbed it from my pocket. It was Jada again, texting me. Squinting, I looked at her name.

Open it.

I hadn’t opened a text from shorty in a minute. The long messages she sent were draining and pointless as hell, so I let all twenty of them bitches stack up. But today, something told me to open it… so I opened it.

When I did, I paused.

Literally.

Took the blunt from my mouth, and tilted my head to the side, staring at a positive pregnancy test. With a deep breath, I said back against the couch, blunt pinched between my fingers staring at it. Ignored the messages before it. Just… my eyes… they stayed fixed on the words ‘pregnant’ through the little screen on the test.

9

SEREIA

“Did you see it?” Asked Lake, as I stood in the mirror fixing my hair.

“See what?”

She sucked her teeth. “Bitch are you listening to me at all?”

Was I? Not really. I was getting ready to go to the grocery store. It wasn’t about the store, really. It was about who I was going with. First Lady and her fine ass, big dick ass son Exodus Christ. Yeah, the crush I had on him had grown. A lot. The other night we stayed on the phone for hours. When I say hours, I mean the sun was damn near up when we got off. That conversation didn’t do anything but complicate shit further. We were on the phone a minute ago and I was giddy—yes, giddy—the whole time. Antsy. Smiley. Blushy. Just… ew. A version of myself I’d never been before. Not even Vellz made me giddy. A little shy? Blushy? Yes, but never like that. I didn’t twirl my hair when I talked to him. Didn’t smile until my cheeks hurt. I was cool. But with Exodus? With Exodus I was unpredictable. Unrecognizable. And that… it worried me. Because… what the hell? I couldn’t predict me with him.

So, no, while Lake rambled off about social media shit, I barely heard her. I was thinking about him. Making sure I didn’t have a hair out of place. Making sure my lip combo—yep, lip combo; bitches wore lip combo’s now—was perfect. I might’ve been doing the most… might’ve had a couple of butterflies going in my stomach… but I didn’t like it. Not one bit. Me and vulnerability did not get along. Ever. I wasn’t a weak bitch. Didn’t show feelings associated with lust, love or anything remotely close to it. It was hard for me to be soft. More now than ever because I knew what the world and life did to people. I’d loved and lost too many times to go down that road. Sadly, with annoyance coursing through my veins, I was on that path regardless. Heading straight for destruction. Heading down a dark, narrow path that lead straight to heartache. Not because he’d cheat on me—I didn’t think that far—but because people died. People left. They always fucking left.

And I didn’t want to be left again.

I could go first, yeah but the way my life was set up… I doubted it.

Anyway.

Focus.

Lake wanted to gossip.

I took another deep breath and rolled my eyes. “What happened?”

“His ex.”

“Who’s ex? Vellz and ol’ girl broke up already?”

Lakeland sucked her teeth. “No bitch. I’m not talking about them. If you were listening, you would have heard me say X’s ex the first time.”