Page 58 of A Future To Remember

Mostly, though, I failed. The blows were too hard, the pain too intense, the violation too violent and degrading. Maybe it was better to simply sink into the frigid cold and let go.

Just as I was leaning toward that option, however, I heard the crunching of snow under tires. They were back. I wept. It was always worse when they’d been away for a while.

I wiped my cheeks with the back of my bruised hands just as they burst through the door. Drunk. Laughing. The cruel one lit a lantern and looked at me hungrily, licking his lips as he grabbed his crotch and started to approach me. “Miss me?” he asked.

I scuttled as far back against the wall as I could, but there was no escape. Not from him. Not from here. Not from any of it.

I watched as he raised his hand high above my head, his fingers curled into a claw, the tattoo of the tiger and the naked woman on his forearm plainly in view right before the claw descended. I felt his fingers dig into my scalp, wrapping his fist around my hair and pulling me up off the floor.

“Maddy,” he said, but it wasn’t his voice. He never called me that.

I screamed as his free hand dug into my shoulder, trying to fight him off. “Get off me! Get off me!”

I kicked out, my foot making a hard connection as I fought back. Then I rolled and tumbled over onto the floor, landing on all fours and looking around in the darkness, completely disoriented.

Warm air hit my face and shoulders, and a moan wafted up to my ear. “Christ, Maddy!” Levi groaned. “What the hell?”

I was panting hard, my skin damp and the fear of the last few moments coursing through me like water through floodgates.

“Levi?”

He moaned again.

I crawled on all fours over to a form, which was also sitting on the ground. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry!”

I realized he was moaning like that because I’d kicked him on my way out of the nightmare.

He coughed and sat up on his knees. “You clocked me good, woman.”

I touched his shoulder, trying to orient myself in the dark. “I was having a nightmare.”

“Yeah, I got that part.”

“I’m so, so sorry, Levi. I would never intentionally hurt you.”

He rolled forward, cradling his face in his hands. “You’d have to get in line for that,” he said bitterly.

If I felt bad before, I took that feeling and injected it with steroids. “Can I at least get you some ice?”

“Nah. I’m okay.”

He didn’t sound okay.

Getting to my feet, I moved over to where I thought the milk crate with the lamp I’d gotten from the church thrift shop was, and I found it right away. Clicking on the light, I saw Levi, squinting at me. He had a hand on the left side of his cheek, the skin red underneath his fingers.

“I should go downstairs and get you some ice.”

“I’m fine,” he said sharply.

I held in a sigh of frustration. Levi remained irritatingly difficult to help. I’d found that if I asked or announced the way I wanted to help him, his immediate reaction was to reject the offer, so I was more frustrated with myself for not simply going downstairs to retrieve some ice for him instead of asking for his permission.

Moving over to one of the space heaters, I upped the temperature.

Wanda had been quite generous, allowing me to stay up here rent-free, so I was conscious of the utility costs and kept the space heaters mostly off or on low to conserve electricity. But tonight, the temps had really dipped, and the large space was colder than usual, which is probably why I’d had that nightmare.

I stood in front of the heater as it blew warm air at my legs. More than anything, that helped to chase away the tremors of fear and hopelessness from the nightmare.

After a few minutes of silence, Levi came over to stand next to me, and I moved over a few inches so he could share the heat.