Page 69 of Knot Broken

“Good,” Riley said. “Very good. You’re bringing Nadia’s heart rate down nicely, Grey.”

“If one alpha helps, how about two?”

Suddenly I was the middle of an alpha sandwich, and that was just about as amazing as I’d thought it would be. My legs sagged as it felt like every muscle relaxed at the same time.

“Alright, if you’re up for it, we’ll attach the hormone pump.” Some of the feel good sensations faded as Riley held up a small device. “We took the idea from insulin pumps. They are able to read a diabetic’s blood sugar level and inject insulin as needed, allowing for far better control. This will do the same. The chip will relay information about your hormone levels and when they drop, the device will top them up, while also slowly titrating them to the kinds of levels we see in non latents.”

“Via a needle.” My eyes narrowed as I inspected the device. “You didn’t say anything about having a needle in me the entire time.” I definitely did not like that idea at all. “What if we just try things naturally? Maybe my hormones will work themselves out.”

“The needle is nothing like the ones you get for blood tests,” she said in soothing tones. “Its so fine you won’t even notice it. Of course, if you want to wait and see if nature will step up and help you through the process, that’s fine.”

No one else said a thing, but all eyes were on me. My decision, that’s what they were waiting for. I needed to make the call, but every part of me rebelled. What was once hot and sexy and fun was somehow now cool and clinical, and I freaking hated that.

But it was what I signed up for.

“OK.” I held out an arm, then realised I had no idea how this would work. “Where does it go?”

“The pump will attach on one of your hips,” she said, “then we clip the device to your belt or waistband. You can wear it in the shower or swimming or whatever. We designed it to be as unobtrusive as possible.”

So why didn’t it feel that way?

I stared at the polished floor, counting every fleck of grey as I felt people moving around me. Fingers touching my skin, something pulling my t-shirt up, then tucking it into my waistband. Another prick to go with the antsy feeling crawling up and down my arms, then just cool air, emptiness which had me looking up.

“You’re all set up.” Riley’s concern was palpable. “But we don’t need to start hormone therapy right now.”

“Another day might be a good idea.”

Grey’s growl had my head swinging his way, just in time to catch the white gleams of his knuckles as he held his fists down at his side.

“What do you think, Nadia?” Tex asked, but before I could answer, the door to the room swung open.

“You’ve got a visitor,” Colt said, ushering a familiar figure in.

“Hey.” Ethan slapped a pile of letters into his empty palm. “Some invoices came in and… I figured you’d want to process the payments, Grey.” If that was the case, why was he staring at me, those bright blue eyes bleeding silver as he looked down, noticing the device at my waist? “The pump looks like its had a redesign.” As he moved closer, the scent of sun-dried laundry filled my nose, as well as the ozone of the sea. Ethan’s spare hand flexed, but before he could touch the pump, he pulled it back. “So you’re going through this?” he asked me.

Was I? With a shuddering breath, I nodded slowly.

“Yep,” I said with a bravado I didn’t feel. “Let’s dial this thing up to eleven and see what happens.”

Chapter 33

Ethan

Say no, I thought furiously. Nadia, say no.

I’d fallen to my knees, wracked by more pain than I ever thought possible, in a room that looked just like this. Being kicked in the nuts during footy practise, smashing my head into the concrete footpath when I came off my bike was nothing to the pain of shifting. But it was obvious there was no psychic link between me and Nadia because she smiled and looked around the room and then gave Riley the go ahead.

You should go, I thought. There's nothing you can do to help.

The sound of her hiss had me starting forward.

“Hey.” My hand shot out and grabbed hers. “Nadia, you OK?”

“It’s just…” Her breath came in hard and fast. “It’s kind of like really bad period cramps.”

“Riley, is there something we can do about the pain?” Tex asked and seeing him serious for once was a miracle in itself.

“There are some painkillers in the mix going through the pump,” she replied. “But there’s only so much we can do. Shifting for the first time hurts.”